EUGENEWEEKENS.COM— “THIS WEEK: ALL THE ORGANIC, EXPENSIVE, LOCAL , BI-COASTAL, SUSTAINIBLE, HIPPIE-APPROVED FOOD AT EUGENE FARMERS’ MARKETS!!! 2016 ” JUNE 16″

Eugene Grapples with Orlando Massacre, decides to make everyone in Eugene gay!

“We thought it was the least we could do,” stated a LBGFPT gay member of “gay men who don’t want to be women, Local Union”. “It’s the only way we know, to make everyone non-homophobic, and have bigger, better party-bashes at the same time!! We party better than “breeders”, so why not share the fun, while protesting against violence?” The gay groups’ rep. did state to this reporter, that all the “breeders” in Eugene, who were to be transformed into either sex. did have a  choice of sexes..”We want everyone to have freedom of choice,” said their leader, proudly.”That’s what Eugene is about, freedom of the individual!!  We know that will stop any more terrorist homo-phobes from wreaking violence on any community.”

Eugene Weekens’ ORGANIC SATURDAY FARMERS’ MARKETS MAKE YOUR FOOD!!!!–SO EAT UP, AND PAY UP!!!

Granola is a munch-food, and a symbol of the organic food movement, and along with organically-made beer, wine,

beer-nuts,snacks and dips, Eugene businesses have made all this junk-food legitimate as REAL FOOD, and not just

something to give you a beer-belly. (ALL this junk is now good for you, even the carbs, because its all organic.)

Even Oregon doctors agree,”Hey, man, this is happening food! You diabetics and food-allergy people can eat ANY &

ALL of the wonderful local organic food, and not have any bad effects, because its sanctified by the Goddess of

Naturalness and Compost-ability! That makes Lane COUNTY a “sanctified-organic-Holy-sustainabill Reighteous

Vindicated- Superior Expensive-Gentrified-Wowie-Pretencious PLACE!!” The doctors did say, that proof of rotten or

fungus-laden produce from organic farmers was a huge lie, dictated by mass-farming GMO-POO-POO-

Corporations, who make poisoned grain and food, and have killed thousands of people with GMO-POO-POO grains.

“ALL FOODS, other than organic,are bad for you,” stated the Eugene doctors, “You should STARVE unless you can get

organic food!!  YES, stop eating, if you have no money for ORGANIC!! IT’s so much better for you!!–your bones will

thank you!!!”

Completely messy oil- Canvas, Lets EX-NYC resident

Think Herself into a State of Artiness:

 

Terella Roosevelt Vanderbilt Howard-Hughes, a transplant from the upper-east side of NYC  a graduate of hi-toned art and music schools of the east coast, moved to paltry little town of Eugene, out of the goodness of her heart.”i had to find myself, express my anguish!!!” the renegade pacifist-vegan-radical-feminist-lesbian-organic-Marc Jacob-Neo-Liberal artist, who was surrounded by her art forms, paintings, and copies of WIN-Co grocery carts, transformed into miniatures, expansively  –er..–expanded herself in her chic, hippie-art-goache-coated liv. room. “Those upper-east side fiends of New York wouldn’t let me have my anguish.””__she paused. “But now, ” she giggled, “they all moved to PORTLAND, and took it over!! HEE HEE HEE!”

SALVAGE LOVE:  by Mikey Salvage

Dykes Redux

Dear Mikey: I’m a 21-year-old gay lesbian-nurtering-Trash Lover, who’s loved garbage and trash all her life. Now that I’m an adult,I am confused about the contemporary state of sex in the United States. Is this a gay nation? Or a pusedo-masochist society now? Where do I fit in? I mean, I go to lesbian bars, and illegal,black-market lesbian Sak’s 5th Avenue dept. store cocktail parties, (you’d be amazed at how many women who frequent Saks and Bergdorf’s, are just cruising for ladies rather than Dior dresses. But, often, we have to settle for Marc Jacobs, cause that’s all they have. I refuse to wear the requisite BEARD, however.).

I just don’t get it, Mikey!! I have been with women,and men,and old cucumbers; I have tried animal-love and fish-love, and gotten sea-sick and a bad yeast infection. I went to orgies for men,orgies for women,and orgies for bi-sexuals, and those were REALLY CONFUSING!!Bi-sexual orgies are dull, they stand around for hours, trying to make up their minds.Everyone usually gives up, and just gets drunk!!What I can’t find is, another trash-lover who doesn’t “compact”, and feels the same way I do about TRASH.

But I can only find “hoarders” who like to watch “Hoarder-Country” on t.v., and can’t clean out their closets. It’s just not the SAME as a trash-fetish. We Trash-lovers only want garbage and trash, and we don’t hoard; hoarders are a whole different disorder.

–one I just don’t want to get dragged into!  But real Trash-lovers are hard to find. THEY don’t jump in the garbage-piles with just ANYONE!!! Amazingly, there are no Trash & Garbage-Lovers websites, they don’t like them.—You can’t get that “smell & slime-feel” unless you meet someone in the flesh.

I’m tired of being alone every night, sifting thru my cat’s kitty-litter, dreaming & hoping for “The One,” to show up.—-

sign me, “All Out of Litter”.

 I can’t think why, AOL, you don’t frequent the Whit District more often; don’t you realize they have a great bunch of Trash-lovers down there? And I don’t mean those pedestrian Hoarders!! But as for your complaining about bi-sexuals; that’s very unfair,and not true.They CAN make up their minds when they want to. Bi-sexuals are picky too. (Well, maybe a little.) You just need to give one time, to make up her/his mind. I think once you cruise the garbage-bins of the Whit, you’ll lock eyes some time, with the filthy-face of your true love. Or, maybe just some good, dirty sex. Here’s smelling you!!—Mikey Salvage

    

(TRY the salvagelove-podcast/ and email us at “salvage-love/don’tthrowitaway!.com  ” /find us at DISNEY-WORLD

.

 

 

“HOW TO BE HAPPY IN LIFE,(FOR SENIORS AND YOUNGER”; THE WIT OF EUGENE, OREGON”

(ANOTHER ART WORK RIPPED OFF THE WEB, ARTIST UNKNOWN) “HILLARY CLINTON, PREZ. OF U.S.A.”

This following post in this series.of life by a senior native of Eugene, Oregon, will be a BRIEF “advertisment” not only for how superior mankind, (oh, yeah,)is, than other animals, but “how to be happy as a human being”. In no way can this method be used for elephants, whales or the Big cats, as Mankind is set on killing THEM (cougars in Oregon) all off.

DON’T BE ONE.

FIRST, you seniors (especially ones with fibromyalgia, ouch) have the hardest time being happy.You are often in physical pain from arthritis, bad feet, all problems of getting old physically, plus cancer killing you & the deaths of wives, relatives, old friends, your work-death, & your retirement-money’s death, often broke, ALONE,(see: Wall St. & “bloated govt.”) and you are now living in an inferior environment, w/expensive food, more cancer, a bleak scary future, and, maybe worst of all, you have found out this truism:

There is no wonderful, or find-able, reason for life.You are not happy, (maybe you never were) and time has run out, to transform magically into a happy person. Despite all the psychiatrists, psychologists, and wisdom of the Chabad, you never got over your child-hood, or teen-age traumas (especially if they were extreme) and now, it’s clear that you never will.You spent all that insurance, or cash, on shrinks, and you now realize that therapy was all just to make every shrink a living. You could have had a very expensive wonderful vacation with all the insurance( and cash) and been happier on vacation.

That is true. WHY did you search all your life, for the secret of life? Here is the reason: every single piece of literature mostly religious, or psychiatic, and all your  relatives and every single piece of publication,, has written that there is a magical “secret of life” that you just have to to discover.– – and then you’ll be happy. If you are very smart, intellectual, it is even worse because  you are more apt to spend  a lot of time, in philosophy and religion, searching for that secret  of life everyone assures you is there .Religions tend to be the worst of all, telling you that if you’re good, wonderful to everyone, kind to everyone, worked hard, etc., that will make you happy.– as well as  repairing the world.

to quote Cole Porter, “it ain’t necessarily so.”

here is one requirement for happiness, that my sister,, as well as  billions of others have discovered: you have to be lucky.

luck requires that you be born into certain circumstances, family, economics, era, country, continent, social and physical that greatly ensure that you’re more likely to be happy. Theologians say “Nay, nay,, nay!” But it is a fact. Being a rickshaw driver, in China, unable to get out of that particular grueling life, and only able to find brief respite by smoking opium in an opium den designates you as “unlucky”. It has nothing to do with KARMA, as it has never been proved that you’re unhappy now, because you are a very bad evil person in your past lives. There’s no proof. No one has ever come back from death, and said “I’m being punished because I was Hitler in a past lifetime.”

Karma is only a justification, for why you’re being punished now. Forget it! Like above, “there’s no proof of karma..”

to the contrary, except for right at the ending, Hitler was pretty happy with his lot. Most rich dictators, who have a lot of power and money, are mostly happy. They don’t have to be good; they only have to be  lucky, and able to become dictators.to become a super rich family or person, takes a lot of ruthlessness, lack of empathy, animal cunning, and the grit to carry through to your goal. – –  And to hang on and keep it that way.

the very richest, more successful drug dealer, is very likely to be happy with it. Why else would he do it? Don’t fall for that  old motto that says “the poor are able to be happy also.or, even more happy than the rich.” I can tell you from experience,  it’s very very miserable being poor. That’s why nobody wants to be that way! if certain religious clerics, or people, have convinced themselves that they’re all so happy with it, let them have it. Very few people are still happy being extremely poor, in the way of the world. Even a very loving affectionate family often cannot make up for it.. It is better to have a loving, affectionate family if you’re poor,but extreme poverty still makes your loving affectionate family miserable also.

here is another necessity of life, that is a sure component of being happy;you  really have to be PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY, and EMOTIONALLY WELL. And that also requires luck.if you are extremely physically disabled, it is very difficult, in this world to be extremely happy.  Some people say that they are,  but I know for certainty, knowing a lot of the disabled community, that it really is a bitch, and a lifetime hazard to happiness.  human beings were made to be physically, mentally and emotionally well, as the world is hard, competitive, and ruthless itself.disabled people are more likely to be very poor, as nobody wants to hire them, and it’s really hard to make a living.

DISCRIMINATION is a big problem for anybody disabled.even if you have very bad mental and or emotional illness,or autism, it’s very likely to lock you out of the mainstream of human society. This is an absolute truth, I’m sorry, I’ve been there and it’s TRUE. go ahead and ask a bunch of disabled people, how they like being locked out of the mainstream of human society. They don’t like it. It isolates them, and cut down their chances of being part of society and the world. also, being very mentally and or emotionally ill, you are not able as well as the luckier person, to enjoy life.

we have now discussed most of the circumstances of the human being, that contribute mostly to his chances of being happy. And, we’ve already discussed how lack of those circumstances can make you very unhappy. What then, can you still do, to be happy, even if you have the above miserable circumstances?

one way to  accomplish happiness, even with some of those worst characteristics above, is to NOT THINK. Yes,  we are advocating that you not think! DO NOT EXAMINE LIFE. Because the more you think about it, and study it, the more unhappy you get! very intelligent, or/and sensitive humans (especially artists,) are some of the unhappiest people. Being more intelligent, and REALIZING HOW HARD IT IS, TO CHANGE BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, AND HOW UNFAIR LIFE IS, —AND THE INABILITY TO CHANGE or CONTROL LIFE—CAN MAKE YOU VERY UNHAPPY. You are too smart to be fooled by dumb clap-trap about “you can control your life; You can control happiness, no matter your problems”. “Call our psychics, & find happiness!” “find happiness in God”!!!

TRY to keep your illusions and delusions .If you drink too much, and go to A.A,, and now you get dry,and realize HOW MISERABLE YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, think about whether or not you want to be vulnerable now, not drinking, and is it worth it? HOW OLD are you? If you’re young enough to change some stuff, ok. But if you’re only now pelted by the misery, who cares if you drink? If you’re only responsible for yourself, (let your spouse divorce you) who says there are cures for your life? NOT a guarantee . DITTO DRUGS— chances are, you might be very happy off drugs (see: “necessities of happiness”) and not finally kill yourself. GREAT–can you manage to live off drugs, face your reality, noting how your original pain surfaces?  CAN you live with the pain, and find good enough ways to handle life,and not get snowed?  It might be more realistic to pick a “pot-liberated state,” set up residence, and  ACCEPT YOURSELF.

ACCEPTING YOURSELF, AND NOT BEATING YOURSELF UP, can make you happier. this is true.

There are ways to consider, “HOW MUCH CONTROL have you got over your life?” or how much have you EVER HAD? IT’s time to realize, how LITTLE CONTROL we have had,and have, over our life circumstances.

NO, YOU DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH CONTROL OVER LIFE!! go watch the old HBO SERIES, “SIX FEET UNDER”, and observe how much control, any of these characters had over their deaths, OR LIFE. Most of these people tried to control life, and failed.Much of of our life is already decided for us. You can TRY, but, please, be realistic. You have much LESS CONTROL than we are blamed for.

there are even people who say, BLACK PEOPLE who stick together, ARE HAPPIER. (TRUE.)–And if you noticed, yourHispanic neighbors may be  happier, with their families.White people get dumped, often, alone,old,  sick or poor, unlike the fore mentioned 2 races.When black or Hispanic folks hang together, supportive, the white person, alone, is unhappier. With this statistic looming, have white people in the U.S.A. FORGOTTEN how to be supportive families? And DUMP very disabled or old, ect., family members? It appears very possible.

Maybe all the dumped solitary, lonely white folks, should put on black face, and pretend!!!(sarcasim).

here are some very patented, and reliable,, ways that you can try to be happy.  Some of them work more than others. DON’T BE POOR, if you can help it.

ACCEPT your self the way you are. Mostly that is out of control except for the few things that you can change.it doesn’t help make you happier, to hate yourself for what you can’t do or can’t be.

ACCEPT THAT THE WORLD IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, and most or at least many of things in life are completely out of your control. It does not help to be a control – freak. SORRY! It’s just reality!

PICK  FRIENDS who  accept  you the way you are. Stay away from people who overly judge you, or berate you for your problems, and tell you “you could make a lot more money if you just shaped up, got over ALL those problems, and got a really good job.”– – like it’s very easy, now, to just go out, in the United States,  and get a very good job. Ha ha. Even the experts can’t do it.oh, and, you’re supposed to “just get over those  little problems, it’s so easy!”

ACCEPT that, much of your life is out of your control, and always has been,, including all the circumstances into which you were born, and which make a lot of difference  in how you are now.be realistic about it.

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP, for not being happy. Most of the planet people are not happy, because it is a very hard world, for the majority of its inhabitants, are not very happy. It is also a fallacy that most Americans are happy. Drug addiction and alcoholism in the United States is rampant, (says one very good workbook on depression,,)  because nobody in this society is supposed to express not positive, painful feelings. According to Americanism,, you are always supposed to be HAPPY. NO UNHAPPINESS! NO NEGATIVE FEELINGS! What are you supposed to do with them? Americanism requires that you drug a lot, and/or drink a lot, and hide all of your negative feelings. It doesn’t really help, it just makes you an addict.(the above statement that it might be better to be a drunk, or be a druggie, iis really up to you..)

THERE  ARE a few things, in your life, probably even very tiny ones, that you can control. Some of them can make you happy sometimes. For example, those of us who worship at the shrine of SpongeBob Square pants, are made very happy by him. 🙂 even if only for a few minutes a day. There are also those of us who are made happy by fashion, writing, artwork, drawing, painting, sewing, and trying to knit. (Yes, I am trying it’s not as easy as you think.  SEE above: don’t expect yourself to be perfect.–this includes very difficult knitting. However, it is fun.) Maybe you like TREES! If you are an Oregon native you very likely like trees!– – and you try to do what you can to watch out for them.

BE KIND TO OTHER PEOPLE.it is not only good for them, it makes you feel like a worthwhile person. It doesn’t mean you have to be Rockefeller or have your own huge charity. Just do what you can! Especially personally!7and you also don’t have to be a member of the Chabad.–or any particular religion. Eugene,Oregon, has quite a number of very nice churches, who use their organizations, to have charities and help for the poor  and elderly who need it. But, for example you could be a complete agnostic or athiest, and still be kind to people.

“Be gentle with yourself.”–I got this one from SASS, (look it up) in Eugene, OR, and its been very helpful to me.we are usually our own worst critics and very hard on ourselves.they not only recommend this, they also recommend writing things down, like keeping a journal, (they don’t know that I publicize everything, here on my blog, and just blab blab blab, as if I knew the secrets of the universe. Good thing they don’t read this.)

AND, MOST OF ALL, DON’T EXPECT LIFE,, or GOD, TO BE PERFECT – –please, accept yourself the way you are, the world the way it is,(this typing the way it is,) and most of all, please, for God’s sake, don’t look at God and say “YOU ARE PERFECT! You can fix everything!” That is the most untrue, mythological BS of all time. If you are an intelligent person, or even if you’re not, take it from me, whatever God there is, or “evolutionary systems” that make up all of existence, you can’t expect them to be perfect the way you want.that is another religious fallacy that I very much dislike.

You can look at the world itself, and see that, this is not the work of a idealistic, all perfect, “knows what he is doing” deity of any kind.the universe and the creator are perfect, in their own way, but it’s not necessarily OUR WAY. It would be a good idea to look at everything from the eye view of the creator,  and realize that  everything is perfect the way it is.even ourselves! For all we are bastard guerrillas, with too– big– brain cases, this is as good as we can manage right now.. No, I don’t like having a nice intelligent mind, in the body of a gorilla. Not my idea of a good time!but, until a better substitute comes along, we’re stuck with this one.

this sounds like  “a whole lot of acceptance can help you be happier.” That’s probably true.after all, alcoholics anonymous, and some other distant quaint philosophies, have known this for a long time.  And, it is FAR EASIER, and MORE PRACTICAL. And,  more often than not, IT WORKS.  at least, it helps a great deal. Thank you! You may now go out, into the world, and be as unhappy or as happy as you can manage, or as you can put up with, with my permission. (Smirk) as if you needed my permission! You don’t need anybody’s permission! You should accept that also! Ha ha Ha.

Boy, if it wasn’t for a very good sense of humor, I’d never get out of misery myself! I just laugh at all of you, haw haw, and the world, AND GOD, and try to get over myself!I recommend it.  🙂

(Sandraminadotty, the psychic-net-work-substitute=-and KNOW-IT-ALL-SENIOR  OF EUGENE, OR!!!!!)

“AND THE SCALES SHALL FALL FROM YOUR EYES…I SEE THE WORLD,MY LIFE,GOD, WITHOUT ILLUSIONS AND DELUSIONS, OFF SOUTH PARK, AND IT’S TRUE!!!–IN EUGENE, OREGON”

(UNKNOWN COMPUTER-ARTIST)

I was watching South Park, and one of the characters started to hear the tween-music, that the kids liked, as BULL shit! Yes, all their music sounded like shit!one particular character ,the fat guy, was having his parents divorce. And he started seeing everything as shit..

sure, it was the effect of the divorce. But he talked to somebody and the guy said,, was an adult, “what you are seeing, is the real world without  illusions. Everybody goes around on this planet every day, full of illusions and delusions, about what this reality is. Actually, they don’t see the real reality most of the time! You want to know why?”

“Because the world is really full of SHIT! Most of the world and everyone in it and everything they do, is SHIT. And you have seen the real world for the first time without illusions!”

so the guy asked the little fat boy, if he wanted all his Illusions back.but the lLittle  fat boy said,” no, I don’t want all those illusions back.” – – For what ever reason I forget, the little boy kept  His illusions.and that was a very interesting and good episode of South Park.

I had just watched a marathon, three-day binge of the old HBO series  “6 feet under.”I had seen some of it a long time ago but I wanted to see the whole thing, and especially the end, where one of the main characters dies.the family all live in a very big house and they ran a mortuary in the house in the basement. They did all the  enbalming in the basement.the son, who was in his early or late 30s, came home from wandering  and decided to join the business. His name was Nate

the whole story is about how the characters handle, being around death all the time. Also, it shows that the parents of the grown-up children, two boys and a girl, were very effected by their parents SILENCE, never discussing anything, never talking about anything,, and pretty much isolation. The author was trying to say that, however your parents raised you,, that affected your life and whether you could love someone, without a lot of trauma.that’s exactly how the grown-up children felt.

the story was really about death and how out-of-control our deaths are. We have no control over how we go, when we go, etc. Everyone dies at some time.. Nobody gets out of this alive. And, you really do not have any choice about all the stuff about dying.you get ripped away from your loved one, and family, at the wrong time, of course and there’s nothing you can do about it. And boy, do they have all kinds of death at the beginning of the episode, all the time.

watching all these characters struggle, to have a love life, and not being able to avoid the damage their parents had done to them, also told me that we can’t really change who we are. We are made that way. That’s how we are and we’re stuck with it.of course at the end, one of the main characters dies, after a successful brain surgery, and there was nothing they could do. He was still a pretty young man, with a pregnant wife, he couldn’t stay with.in fact, in tiny pictures, they showed at the end, how everyone in this series died..it was just like REAL LIFE.

it got me thinking that, as I watched all the  characters struggle and try to love, and try to stay alive, and not having any control over their death or life, that that’s exactly the way it was. Life was hard; you had no control over what kind of person you were,, and what you are like inside.that is the very worst of it; I am stuck with me. I can’t escape, or get out of ME.all the bad struggling, all the worry, ,having problems, just like the characters in 6 feet under. And all the unsuccessful love life,,it was true.

Basically, I do not want to be ME.I hate it. But I can’t do very much about it even psychology will back that up.ask an alcoholic how he likes being that way; the only thing he could do to help himself is go to AA and stop drinking. But he could never stop being an alcoholic with an alcoholic personality.

–I am sitting here, typing, and I have no illusions or delusions about life and the world anymore. All the nations and peoples are crazy, making war easily, battling, destroying, terrorizing  Europe, and with the United States worrying that Isis will get over here eventually.– –  not to mention that the two people running for president in 2016, are probably both LYING  and only regular, rotten, criminal politicians. Neither one of them is going to try and save the country, or get Americans jobs.

Most of all, I now have no illusions about  GOD, HEAVEN, REINCARNATION, or any kind of that   tripe. There is no proof  that any of that exists. Yes, people hold onto all those illusions because the world is so hard and insecure. I don’t blame them. But I can’t do it anymore. I also don’t have any illusions about that Orthodox Jewish organization, Chabad; I have always been good about religions. Well,I’ve given them up.Chabad iits not any different from any other Jewish organization; they say that they want converts,, but they really don’t.converts are shunned.– –by all of them.I suppose the only way you could get into a Jewish family is to marry one.then, they figure they have to convert you.

there is also something hard I have learned, which is  “do not listen to what anyone SAYS.  When they talk, they are just lying. Watch what they DO, not they SAY.  What they actually  do, is the truth..”hypocrisy is pretty much ingrained into society. Without lies, delusions, and deliberate evil, society could not survive.(ask me how many times I’ve seen the movie  “FIGHT CLUB”. In which they make fun of and satirize  exactly how modern society screws up men. great movie.)

in ending, I would say that, yes, I don’t have any illusions about the world anymore, or people;.about the only thing I could get excited about, is a large dairy queen “twist” soft ice cream cone.— THAT’S IT.

that is all I believe in. Money, power, hypocrisy,lies, evil and just about any  vile thing you can think of. That’s exactly what the world and all people are made up of. Please, all you greens, and “environmentalists” give up now. people are going to destroy everything. And the world is probably going to kill  PEOPLE, the species, – – along with the rest.— hopefully

(Sandramina says, “I haven’t seen a pineapple for several years! All of the summer fruit is MISSING, lousy, or holy expensive.”Here comes the global warming-effect on FOOD– IT’S VANISHING. hey, anyone want to go,to South America,  eat a lot of pineapple, bananas, avocados, and other exotic fruit?Aichi Wawa!AII, CHIUAUA!!!   YUMMY!   go ahead and enjoy whatever you like, there is no “big meaning to life” or secret of existence. It’s a bunch of rotten pineapple. Hee hee.)   🙂

(SEE: NEXT POST:”HOW TO BE HAPPY”(FOR SENIORS AND YOUNGER)

“GORILLA KILLED, WHILE USELESS KID IS THROWN INTO HIS CAGE; AND GORILLA IS BLAMED FOR IT?? iS THIS AMERICA, WHAT ABOUT THE GORILLA’S SAFETY?? –IN EUGENE OREGON , WHERE WE FINALLY GET HOT WEATHER”

(ANGRY ANONYMOUS ART OFF THE WEB TOWARDS ELECTIONS)

it is finally officially summer in Eugene Oregon. Because it’s HOT. May and April are only preparing for June, and it’s not a good idea to plant stuff before June because it’s not going to be warm or even hot before that. While Carolyn and I are perusing the sour – and filled with black hair, Chilean grapes (from Chile) in Winco grocery, (I now realize I cannot buy grapes from them, and those are not the grapes of wrath) I realize that my lack of appetite lately, is briefly because of the modern FOOD I have to eat. It’s quite different than the food in the past.

.”Sandra,” said Carolyn, as we pushed a grocery cart along,” you’ were in Sacramento and then you were in San Francisco for many years, you don’t know what the food is like here anymore. California was always different.”..  “even here on our place it was different,” I said “when my family was alive and planting and growing stuff. We had fruit a lot better then you could buy at the grocery, because our dad was one of the first organic gardeners during the 50s.he stopped using DDT, and started composting and using animals manure for fertilizer.” “Didn’t you say that some of your Apples had Little worms in sometimes?” Asked Carolyn.”yes,” I replied, stiffly, “so what? And it tasted a lot better.”

“this isn’t an agricultural area, in Lane County, Eugene, and even in Oregon anymore.. I noticed the grocery store gets all their fruit and vegetables from California, (AND winco, FROM SOUTH AMERICA,) and it’s like buying diamonds to eat.” I said, waving at the Safeway sign we were going by later. “Whoever would’ve thought that Safeway would’ve had MAINLY ORGANICALLY grown fruit and vegetables? And cost as much as the farmers market?”

But I continued on, because the thing that really bothered me, was how BAD the fruit was, and how MUCH it cost.for somebody who really liked to cook, in the past, and got paid for teaching people how to cook, it was very discouraging. I even thought to myself “it’s already happening – the big shortages of food like they predicted, there already happening!”

“SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!  AAAAGH!!!”

whoever would’ve thought that that old movie, “SOYLENT GREEN” , that was science fiction from the 60s,could start to come true in real life! Back then it sounded like a ridiculous prophecy. What, the United States run out of food, and have food so expensive, you couldn’t afford to eat? Ridiculous!

We have agribusiness, they will never let us down! Well, not down in the dirt anyhow. Who needs to garden your food, when you could just get it from good old cheap secure Safeway supermarkets?

but in reality, trying to grow food in your backyard, in Eugene Oregon, is not so easy anymore. The weather does not cooperate; the water doesn’t cooperate and we have over a 10 year drought, not enough water here anymore. The weather is so UNPREDICTABLE, you could even face a July that has cloudy cold damp, sunless sky. And all your garden would go MOLD. It happened to me when I came back here. For a couple of years I tried to grow food again here, right on the old estate, and it was terrible.the only thing that was the slightest successful, was a bunch of herbs in window boxes, without Windows. (I figured the big wooden window boxes, The plants completely separate from NATURE,  had a better chance. )Why didn’t I just garden inside, and forget the outside?

“yes,” said Carolyn, “all the old-timers here, say that the weather in the Valley has drastically changed, over the years; one lady told me, the gardening here used to be fabulous and not so hard, but now because of all the cold overcast sunless days, and the drought, it ain’t so great anymore. You have better luck getting sunshine in Salem.”  “I haven’t seen such large banana slugs,” I said, “since I saw  large supersize plantain bananas.all the bugs, they eat your garden alive, have increased by 10 fold!” “Now,” replied Carolyn, “you are right about that. You said you had large armies of ants marching into your house, when you came back, as if you were traveling in a jungle?”

“oh yeah,” I remembered, looking for bananas, or something that seemed a little bit like a banana?” Yes, a result of global warming is a tremendous amount of BUGS of all kinds,that  have multiplied so much over the globe,, we have sheer epidemics of bugs. In fact, they’re starting to recommend that people eat bugs instead of regular food, for the protein.UGH!!! I’m sorry, I read stories of people eating shoe leather, and the leather covers of books, in science fiction, I didn’t think I’d really have to do it.”  “doesn’t it remind you of the lion King?” Giggled Carolyn, “where the lion and his friends  were in a part of the jungle, or land, where they found all this free food, you’d didn’t have to fight for, but it was all bugs and slugs, and GUI-=-junk? Ha ha!”

this was not the weight loss diet I had been thinking of and planning. It made starving look attractive.

“that poor gorilla won’t need anymore bananas,” sighed Caroline, still looking for the bananas. “those cops killed him lickety-split! they didn’t even wait for him to lay a finger on the kid who fell into his cage! Oh, and I hear that the bystanders also started screaming and shrieking  and ,yelling at the gorilla, as soon as it happened, trying to get him worked up into a frenzy so that he would attack the kid.”

“are people really smart? Why didn’t they just shoot the kid and keep the gorilla? That gorilla was very very valuable, and extremely expensive and rare, now all they have left is the stupid little worthless kid, when I believe the parents had plenty more to spare But the zoo, and wildlife is out one big fat gorgeous silverback gorilla.(I’ve seen films of them, and they are quite beautiful.) I also saw the film of the kid, and he wasn’t worth saving. Take it from me, one kid is a lot like any other.”

I nodded at Carolyn as she said this. I definitely totally agreed. GORILLAS were not over-populated, people were. WE COULD SPARE A MILLION LITTLE DUMB, BADLY BRED AND RAISED, human kids, but gorillas were VALUABLE, to any intelligent person. WHY? WELL, they’re more attractive than most humans, SILVERBACKS are magnificent creatures, and they’re probably a lot smarter than people.

have you seen any gorrillas with iPods, or mobile phones,  or androids, or driving a Prius, taking illegal drugs, smoking, politicking, or spreading AIDS all over the place? reading the New York Times? Living in New York City?buying and wearing designer clothes?Nope. PEOPLE do that, not gorrillas. NOW, who do you figure is most intelligent anyhow? definitely NOT people.

“you’re beginning to sound like Dr. Doolittle,” said Carolyn, smiling at me, “no, I replied smartly, “the only animal language I speak is BURMESE CAT. Every time I speak it, she looks for the cat All over the place.even elephants have a language! Quite frankly, I’d rather vote an elephant into political office, and I don’t mean the political party logo either. A REAL ELEPHANT. They’re matriarchal,, and they follow the head matriarch. They are not that often violent. And they’re so smart, they know exactly which relative is in the elephant graveyard, when they go there to mourn. ”  “So they really do have good memories!!” asked Carolyn.”I thought you were crazy about WHALES?’ “tHAT’S another mammalian, too.” I looked around,

“I smell bananas!!!” I said.

And my primitive instincts were right!!!  “AAAAH-OOOOO–GAAA!   ME-FIND—GREEN-BANANAS- ON SPECIAL THIS WEEK!!!””

(Sandraminadotty, realizing” WHY can’t people/be more like ANIMALS?”  in EUGENE, HOT. OREGON)  🙂