(MITOSIS INVENTORY OF COMCAST BY LOCAL ARTIST)
ITS SAT. NITE/GUESS THAT MAKES IT ALRIGHT!!
We don’t know if Prince would agree, cause we 2 foxy, fine old ladies are all dressed up, at the local mall with the Cinnabon franchise where all the OLD GUYS hang out, in their very suave billed caps from the University of Oregon athletic-supporters. Needless to say, they need plenty supporting.
“Are you sure we have to date these old goats, just to prove we’re not lesbians?” whispered Caroline, who’s mascara was leaking into her coffee while she chewed her 2nd Cinnabon. “How can you eat 2 of those?!” I whispered back, glancing at my my hair in my mirror; .”That gooey-frosting must have more water than last winter’s rainfall! YUCK!” The Cinnabons were enough to give you diabetes.Where did the word “pastry” come in, and the words “wet plaster” go out?
“Everyone knows you’re not a lesbian,” I whispered back to Caroline, glancing at her spheghetti-strap red, silk dress thoughtfully.”But you do seem to be a member of Gold’s Gym; are you still pumping iron every morning with 10 lbs. in each hand? Couldn’t you try five?!”. Caroline was a heavy, big gal, but only part of it was muscle; mainly her head. The rest was bagels by Win-co, and ice-cream by Dairy-Queen. I myself was wearing my best jeans, a black-t-shirt, and Hoka-1 athletic shoes. (with striped fuzzy-socks.)
HELL, for Eugene, we were over-dressed! Who here wore such expensive-running-shoes?!
(…to be continued, unfortunately)
Here we are, only an hour later, with Mike and Gerald, (who likes Caroline, is only in his 70’s, seeking companionship and a fox-trot partner; Caroline liked dancing but quit long ago) and to Caroline’s surprise, she likes him.( As a person) and I’m watching Mike, who’s only 53,(ok, I rob cradles! SO WHAT?!) who is showing me his sophisticated computer set-up, and HOW TO AVOID ISP RESTRICTIONS ON THE WEB.
“HOW TO AVOID YOUR ISP RESTRICTIONS ON WHAT YOU CAN WATCH ONLINE:”
Mike and I have a lot in common,like being poor on soc. sec. (and Mike’s a Vietnam veteran, divorced, with kids his ex has, on disability from wounds from Vietnam, too bad. ) The two guys live together cause they’re both on tight budgets. Both are divorced, and made broke by it.
It’s the same with Caroline, who got dumped, and those 2 are chatting while doing the fox-trot.Mike says to me, showing me an invisible pirate site, he’s protecting himself from,”We never go to that Mall pick-up place, we just heard about it, and we’re both bad at dating; no moo-la, you know?” So we were both lucky like crazy; well, it is The Year of the Monkey, GUNG-HAY-FAT-CHOY! Guess we monkies are finally ok in the Kitchen God’s eyes.
“How do you do that?” I’m watching Mike, in his long hair, and mustache and metal-rimmed glasses, who still looks a little like he’s in the sixties; “HOW do you keep Comcast Xfinity server from cutting you off certain nations and sites, and movies online? My friend in WA state can’t get anything off Youtube or other sites anymore! Comcast and Google restrict us now! We got WEB CENSORSHIP finally in the US!”
.Mike grins and smiles at me,over his glasses’ rim; “First, we searched for anyone who knew how to get past restrictions online; you might have to find several search engines for this if Google won’t play ball:” He showed me several search engines, and there ARE MORE than just Google. “This site under Geek-guy,or close, tells you how to find and use VPNS. VPNS are “tunnel filters” which you use and configure on your computer, and the “tunnel” hides you from your ISP. ” It sounded complicated, especially the configurations.
I started to read all the software configurations I would have to do,and those I always fuck up,and have to call a computer repairman. “Here’s an easy beginner’s one,” said Mike, and showed me “Tunnel-bear” or “bear-tunnel,” something like that. That one was easy.You could download it free, and just let the “bear” hide your isp signal in a “tunnel” when you were avoiding good old Comcast’s restrictions. I decided to try it at home. I thought maybe, though, that freedom on the web was probably over, though and told Mike that.
“It’s a fact the web is changing, ” he said,”But we can’t tell yet what’s possible or not; the Constitution no longer protects we Americans, any more than France can protect the French,or Paris, or the British protect their Brit natives. They have to get oil from Russia; Russia has a big grip on Europe, and their Islamic immigrants are making Europe unsafe for tourists.” “My cousin back east,” I said,”went to Britain, and was told to avoid the major cities; they heard stories of rampant protests and rioting in the streets of London. They got some photos of it,somehow, I saw them.And the Brit police do nothing! They’re AFRAID OF THEM! They’re all standing down!”
Mike nodded; “They’re furious cause Britain finally joined the war against ISIS,” he repled, “And they’re, like, man, really fuckin’ angry–oops, sorry!” “Swear away,” I replied, as Caroline heard me, and laughed; she nodded at Gerald. “We swear all the time, it’s not a big deal. Just don’t use the words VOTE FOR HILLARY! that’s pretty bad.” We all laughed; thank God we were among semi-non-Liberals.
Even Mike admitted he’s gotten a lot more conservative over the years. “I used to think LBJ and his “Great Society” was a good idea,” he muttered, “but after Nam, I wasn’t so sure. Veterans Administration left a lotta guys in the lurch, with Iraq; I knew vets who came back really flipped out, couldn’t get medical help thru the VA; and I found out, the fed. govt. expected everyone to DIE FIGHTING, and not return wounded! They were totally unready!” “I knew a nurse who went to Nam,” I replied. “It took her months to get glasses when she had cataract-surgery. She couldn’t get VA PRESCRIPTIONS filled for ages.”
Mike shook his head, and asked us if we ever needed to get weed. “No,I don’t smoke any more, ” I replied. “I mean, like, you know, Medical Marijuana, ” he replied. “The legal pot stores are so expensive, I have to go thru a “protective tunnel” to get that, too.” “What kinda tunnel is that?” I asked. “It’s called The Whitt, ” he grinned,” The Whitt-District of Eugene! If you go on the Annual Fashion Show Celebration, some of the MODELS give discounts! And some of it’s in oil-form, or CANDY, or even brownies! Watch out for the Lolly-Pops, they’re outta site, man!”
“Well, my Peace Health doc won’t prescribe it,” I said, “cause Peace Health gets federal money, and to the Feds., it’s against the law.And the NUNS don’t like you taking it either! I can’t get anything out of my clinic except the anti-inflammatory drug that kills your kidneys, and mass amts. of Acetominephen. (which kills your liver). NO NARCOTICS!!! I hope they’re really getting a lot of fed. money, cause Peace Health is anti-narcotics-pain-killer.–” “They’re anti-everything, ” groused Gerald, who had gotten Caroline coffee. “They make almost a billion bucks a year, and still get tax-breaks as a “non-profit”!! WHO MAKES a billion dollars being NON-PROFIT?”
“Probably Mayor Kitty,” I laughed, “She and Lane County,and the LTD cleaned up with milions with the EMX Fed. Grant, and rumour has it, next they’re going to put the EMX down River Road in Eugene! I caught one of their surveyors near my house, and he was surveying the road TO WIDEN IT.” Carol gasped and Gerald stared at me. “Yeah,” I replied to everyone. “If they put the EMX down River Road, in Eugene, all my neighbors on River Road and me, are getting California-lawyers to sue Lane County, Mayor Kitty, Eugene, and the whole bunch of commisioners for millions of bucks. I already got my fat list of partners on River Road, and we’ll have a big fat multiple-law suit. –Whatdoyah-callit? “Class-action lawsuit.”
“LANE COUNTY PLANS TO WIDEN RIVER ROAD, IN EUGENE, AND PUT THE EMX DOWN IT, REMOVING MOST AUTO-TRAFFIC FROM RIVER ROAD, IN EUGENE, THEREBY CREATING MASS-RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC-JAMS, AND ALSO AUTO-WRECKS, BOTTLE-NECKS. AND EVEN BLOCKING RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC COMPLETELY.”
“WHEN did you find this out?” gasped Caroline. “I have a snitch in City Hall, I replied, as Mike started swearing. “It’s not like we home-owners on River Road have any where else to live, when they destroy all our homes, and make us homeless.
“So, me and all the folks on the road, including all the small businesses on River Road are in this to the bloody end. I’m ready to start publishing this story with national news media, when it comes, and out. Fox news channel has already agreed to bring their cameras and trucks out there, when we chain ourselves to any left-over-front-lawn trees,and block all the digging-industrial-tractors.
“Hey, WE HAVE NO OTHER HOMES!” I said. “It’s right in the written contract, online, of Envision Eugene! You can read it! They get to DIG OUT OR CHOP DOWN ALL THE TREES ON RIVER ROAD, both sides, all the way to Junction City! They get to chop down century-old trees in front of the Mormon church, quite a few blocks down!! And None of the FUCKING ENVIRONMENTALISTS WILL STOP THEM!! The Baptist Church, and the Peace Presbyterian churches also get their fronts destroyed, and cut to pieces. The churches don’t know what to do!! Some the small businesses on River road, can’t afford to sue!
“They’re such big faking turkeys, they’re scared to death of City Hall!! Even the fucking ARBORISTS ARE CHICKEN!!” I continued. “Ahh, ” sighed Caroline, ” that’s what arborists do, cut down trees!! They’re not gardeners, yah know.” Mike had looked up the Envision Eugene contract online, and was reading it;”You’re right, ” he said. “It’s right in the bloody contract, they get to destroy everything on both sides of River Road, all the way to Junction City.–even houses. Even churches, and businesses!! “
“–Hey, I can’t believe this fucking contract is legal!!” “It’s not, “I groaned, “It doesn’t have to be legal in Eugene, or Lane County, nothing has to be legal here!! THE GOVT. HERE CAN DO ANYTHING IT WANTS!!.”
“THE STATE DOES ANYTHING IT WANTS, TOO, AND THE FEDS DON’T INTERFERE!! HAH!! The state breaks union-labor-laws, and gets away with it!!! (But I promised the workers, I’d keep my mouth shut about it.) The FBI and the CIA , and Obama’s Justice Dept. in WA DC don’t give a shit! Crap. We’re just a little-Dictatorship-Oligarchy, here, we’re not part of the United States.”
“Yeah, SCREW-OBAMA-THE-LAMA, Destroyer of the Constitution!” muttered Gerald. “I’m finally voting Republican.” “Not gonna help, ” replied Caroline, sipping her coffee,; “If they put Trump in, he’ll just promise ’em anything, and then cut us old ladies off our Medicare and soc. security. Maybe Hillary will finally get in. BRRRR!!! That scares me!!”
“I know someone who read her handwriting, ” mentioned Mike, ” A really good handwriting expert; he said some of her long-hand denoted “extreme cruelty”, and I believe him. He analyzed Carter, and got him completely accurately!!” “He was very religious,”I replied,”Maybe we should ask HIS help and claim we’re part of “HABITAT FOR HUMANITY” cause I am going to be homeless, after Envision River-Road gets rid of my house, my neighbors, and all the other old peoples’ houses.” “I think he’s got cancer now, ” said Caroline.
“I'[ll ask him to live with me, until he dies, him and Rosalind, and then they can’t tear down the shelter of a dying-ex-president of the United States. “I chuckled. “Not a bad idea, ” said Mike,” and petition Obama for a federal grant for it!!”
We all laughed LOL mirthlessly. So much for the old folk in Eugene, Oregon!! PHONY ENVIRONMENTALISTS! TRAFFIC JAMS TO THE MAX!! RUSSIAN-STYLE-LOCAL-GOVTS.!! Detroit was finally lookin’ good (Although the Chinese have bought up most of the cheaper, bad areas, in hopes of making a real estate killing on Americans some day.)
AAAHH, WELL, we had Detroit-property crime and drug-burglary here as much, any how. The homeless stole all the bicycles, (according to the bus drivers) and the SMOG now rivaled the past history of Lumber-Mill pollution over Willamette Valley. The trees up and down River Road had that gooey, white-looking junk on them, from the auto exhaust. YUCK. HOME-SWEET-HOME. I tried not to think about the same gook coating the insides of my lungs.
“Eat more kale!!” said the organic-experts here.” BEET-CAKE!!” yeah, that would fix my lungs!! Supposidly!! Kale was supposed to fix everything!!! Well, ALMOST everything. It can’t fix Lane County, or Eugene OR; only a NUKE would do that. ( bitter laughter) LOL >:)
(Sandraminadotty, maybe almost homeless thanks to ENVISION EUGENE!!!) WHOOPIE!!
(STOLEN FROM DUMB ARTIST)