(ASIAN lion and tiger ritual dances)
there it was,right on the good old RG; “Eugene city Council decrees sick leave for all jobs!” And when they say decree, they really mean it.we citizens of Lane County and Eugene, Oregon, cannot vote on this; we have a dictatorship fully, for local government.
now, our local government council, had decreed that all businesses in Eugene and this County have to give their employees sick leave. If they don’t, they will be thrown into a dark, underground dungeon, in chains, for the rest of their lives, and worst of all, they will get all their property taxes increased triple fold.
“I think you’re exaggerating about that, “said Caroline to me, “I don’t think they actually throw them in dungeons, until they send the police around to pick them up.” “Well,” I said ,reading the paper, “it says here they also decided to declare world peace, among all the nations, end all wars, declare peace between Palestine and Israel, and stop all rockets automatically.” I looked at Caroline seriously; “I didn’t know that Eugene Oregon Council had drones! Isn’t that a little radical even for this town?”
there seem to be a hubbub out on the streets; Caroline was looking out the window, at the street parade of officials and soldiers that were going to all the houses; “I read about this”, she said, “they’re going from house to house, making sure that there are no employees here who are not getting sick leave from their company now.” Somebody knocked on my door very loudly; “do you have any employees, people, in their who require sick leave?” Somebody yelled through the door in an official voice.”everybody here is a bum or a senior who’s retired on pennies.” I replied, yelling through the door in return. “There are no working people here!”the sound of clomping boots told us that they were going away to the next house.
despite all the hubbub, we decided to go to that corner supermarket, that was kind of a discount, not so expensive but really expensive, food store outlet, and missed seeing our usual checkout person; “where is Marianne?” I asked the manager. He looked bad tempered; “she insisted on taking two weeks of sick leave, on the new law, and I had to let her go!” He replied. “I can’t afford to give an employee a week or two weeks worth of sick leave and keep them here!”
Carolina helped me get my groceries that we left. I saw one of the usual cabs, taxis go by, and it made me think; “how the hell are the taxi companies going to give all those employees sick leave?”.Caroline and I looked at each other ;”they can’t possibly do that, and still keep the cab company running!” Gasped Caroline. “I know about those Companies, they barely run on a shoestring! And the drivers keep long hours night in day, just to make a living. But how the hell is the cab company like that, that’s barely making it, going to give all their employees sick leave?” We still looked at each other.the milk was getting warm. “How do they do it now?” I asked her. “Well,” replied Carolyn pensively, “sometimes they can get insurance, well they work, and sometimes they can’t. But usually if they don’t work, they don’t get PAID.”.(just like everybody else who works in Oregon.)
Caroline’s car broke down, and we had to take a cab ; on the ride, we noticed that the cab driver had some guy in a suit, very spiffy looking, sitting right next to him in the front seat. “Uh…” I tried to talk to the cab driver,” is this your partner?” The cab driver looked kind of worried. “No,” he replied, “this is one of the attorneys that the cab companies have hired, who are going to sue Eugene Council and the County,for forcing unenforceable, legally,sick leave commandments on all the cab companies.” “this is only ONE of their attorneys?” “Yes, I’m getting him to his hotel, where all the rest of the attorneys from out of town, are being put up, before they have the big legal suit in court.” Replied the cab driver.
this was absolutely getting ridiculous; Lane County and the city of Eugene was now being commanded by the Council,to force all the businesses to give their employees sick leave. And all the businesses were getting together, apparently, to sue the council, the County and the city of Eugene! There was gonna be a lot of feathers flying!Caroline and I felt like we were in a Eugene Oregon World War III.
during the next couple days, Caroline got her car fixed again, and when we went out, for anything, to go to Dairy Queen and suck up ice cream, we noticed the huge amount of well dressed, men, in business suits,even Armani.they were everywhere. I tapped some kid on a bicycle, at her intersection, on the shoulder, and said “what’s with all the Armani suits in town? Is the state legislature vacationing here?”
“No,” giggled the kid, “with all that expensive designer cloth, can’t you tell those are imported attorneys? they’re all here, issued by the Better Business Bureau of Eugene and County, to sue all of the government, including the Council, for everything they’ve got.” “Don’t tell me,” I sighed, “they’re suing over this stupid new commandment from Charlton Heston, that says all the businesses are forced to have sick leave, and also world peace. I’m a little doubtful about the world peace part; how many drones do they have any way parked in their garages? Is there a certain money allotment by the Council, for drones?” I knew they were around, I saw one whizzing through the air, on its little quest.
what was it little quest? During the next few days, we saw them, all through the hot summer air, flying everywhere,DRONES! Even the drones looked like they were wearing Armani!”oh, God,” I said to my next-door neighbor,” are those stupid things DANGEROUS? What are they doing with them?” My next-door neighbor sighed, tired of the situation already;” well, what I hear, is that all of those drones are being used by both sides,to wipe out the enemy;” I looked at her unevenly. “Yes, that means the attorneys have their drones, going after the city Council and the officials of the County, and the council has their own drones, going after all the attorneys! I guess we’re at war.”
embattled and cornered, during the next week, everybody was huddled in their homes, trying to avoid getting hit by an accidental drone; and it happened, tooeven programmed drones are not perfect about what their target is.
“This is so god damn dumb,” said Caroline grumbling, while we sat in front of the TV, with a couple bottles of vodka, “here we are in World War III over, the city council declaring WORLD PEACE! Plus, they’re forcing sick leave on all the businesses, and now we have troops of attorneys, clomping in here, suing the Council and the city and the county over it!” Caroline looked really tired of it all; “and all the local employees, are all getting fired by their businesses; I don’t think it’s going to be that easy for Marianne to find another job.
“”yes,” I said in return, slurping down some vodka, and squishing a lemon in my mouth;” plus the UN representative, the Dali Lama, mother Theresa’s representative, and PEACE – WHALES, the whale saving organization, is here to make sure that nobody on the coast line, of Oregon, fools around With the local swimming mammals.” “They better make sure there are no Japanese around, sharpening their sushi knives.” Grumbled Carolyn” I hear that whale can taste pretty good, if you know how to fix it.” That was a nauseating remark by itself.neither one of us liked sushi that much.
Of course, knowing the local government of Lane County, and the city of Eugene, our wonderful leaders had decided to ignore reality completely, and were completely convinced that they could control everything, and everyone, activate world peace, with lots of DRONES, and do anything they God damn blessed well wanted to!
I knew their next project was to enable all the council members to walk on water, at the coastline in Florence and it was going to be some kind of stupid event.I made sure that I already had an appointment in my date book. walking on water was supposed to be reserved for Jesus Christ, and to realize that the city Council and LANE COUNTY had decided they could do the same thing, what word shall I use? – – Overwhelmingly nauseating and disgusting. I wondered who their drug dealer was who got them such good meth and superduper – grade heroin, for them to get in that condition.
but, WORLD PEACE? They can’t even get PEACE in this town! nor can they command on their Royal highness’s butts, to force requirements on any businesses that happen to be left in this County and city! Oh, By the Way,the businesses, they’re all MOVING AWAY!
“situation normal; all fucked up!”– –(Sandraminadotty, in hot,droned Eugene, city of Fools.) 🙂