EUGENEWEEKENS.COM— “THIS WEEK: ALL THE ORGANIC, EXPENSIVE, LOCAL , BI-COASTAL, SUSTAINIBLE, HIPPIE-APPROVED FOOD AT EUGENE FARMERS’ MARKETS!!! 2016 ” JUNE 16″

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Eugene Grapples with Orlando Massacre, decides to make everyone in Eugene gay!

“We thought it was the least we could do,” stated a LBGFPT gay member of “gay men who don’t want to be women, Local Union”. “It’s the only way we know, to make everyone non-homophobic, and have bigger, better party-bashes at the same time!! We party better than “breeders”, so why not share the fun, while protesting against violence?” The gay groups’ rep. did state to this reporter, that all the “breeders” in Eugene, who were to be transformed into either sex. did have a  choice of sexes..”We want everyone to have freedom of choice,” said their leader, proudly.”That’s what Eugene is about, freedom of the individual!!  We know that will stop any more terrorist homo-phobes from wreaking violence on any community.”

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Eugene Weekens’ ORGANIC SATURDAY FARMERS’ MARKETS MAKE YOUR FOOD!!!!–SO EAT UP, AND PAY UP!!!

Granola is a munch-food, and a symbol of the organic food movement, and along with organically-made beer, wine,

beer-nuts,snacks and dips, Eugene businesses have made all this junk-food legitimate as REAL FOOD, and not just

something to give you a beer-belly. (ALL this junk is now good for you, even the carbs, because its all organic.)

325.jpg figsEven Oregon doctors agree,”Hey, man, this is happening food! You diabetics and food-allergy people can eat ANY &

ALL of the wonderful local organic food, and not have any bad effects, because its sanctified by the Goddess of

Naturalness and Compost-ability! That makes Lane COUNTY a “sanctified-organic-Holy-sustainabill Reighteous

Vindicated- Superior Expensive-Gentrified-Wowie-Pretencious PLACE!!” The doctors did say, that proof of rotten or

fungus-laden produce from organic farmers was a huge lie, dictated by mass-farming GMO-POO-POO-

Corporations, who make poisoned grain and food, and have killed thousands of people with GMO-POO-POO grains.

“ALL FOODS, other than organic,are bad for you,” stated the Eugene doctors, “You should STARVE unless you can get

organic food!!  YES, stop eating, if you have no money for ORGANIC!! IT’s so much better for you!!–your bones will

thank you!!!”

Completely messy oil- Canvas, Lets EX-NYC resident

Think Herself into a State of Artiness:

 

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Terella Roosevelt Vanderbilt Howard-Hughes, a transplant from the upper-east side of NYC  a graduate of hi-toned art and music schools of the east coast, moved to paltry little town of Eugene, out of the goodness of her heart.”i had to find myself, express my anguish!!!” the renegade pacifist-vegan-radical-feminist-lesbian-organic-Marc Jacob-Neo-Liberal artist, who was surrounded by her art forms, paintings, and copies of WIN-Co grocery carts, transformed into miniatures, expansively  –er..–expanded herself in her chic, hippie-art-goache-coated liv. room. “Those upper-east side fiends of New York wouldn’t let me have my anguish.””__she paused. “But now, ” she giggled, “they all moved to PORTLAND, and took it over!! HEE HEE HEE!”

SALVAGE LOVE:  by Mikey Salvage

Dykes Redux

Dear Mikey: I’m a 21-year-old gay lesbian-nurtering-Trash Lover, who’s loved garbage and trash all her life. Now that I’m an adult,I am confused about the contemporary state of sex in the United States. Is this a gay nation? Or a pusedo-masochist society now? Where do I fit in? I mean, I go to lesbian bars, and illegal,black-market lesbian Sak’s 5th Avenue dept. store cocktail parties, (you’d be amazed at how many women who frequent Saks and Bergdorf’s, are just cruising for ladies rather than Dior dresses. But, often, we have to settle for Marc Jacobs, cause that’s all they have. I refuse to wear the requisite BEARD, however.).angels001_2
I just don’t get it, Mikey!! I have been with women,and men,and old cucumbers; I have tried animal-love and fish-love, and gotten sea-sick and a bad yeast infection. I went to orgies for men,orgies for women,and orgies for bi-sexuals, and those were REALLY CONFUSING!!Bi-sexual orgies are dull, they stand around for hours, trying to make up their minds.Everyone usually gives up, and just gets drunk!!What I can’t find is, another trash-lover who doesn’t “compact”, and feels the same way I do about TRASH.big_little_challenge_by_hsn2555
But I can only find “hoarders” who like to watch “Hoarder-Country” on t.v., and can’t clean out their closets. It’s just not the SAME as a trash-fetish. We Trash-lovers only want garbage and trash, and we don’t hoard; hoarders are a whole different disorder.
–one I just don’t want to get dragged into!  But real Trash-lovers are hard to find. THEY don’t jump in the garbage-piles with just ANYONE!!! Amazingly, there are no Trash & Garbage-Lovers websites, they don’t like them.—You can’t get that “smell & slime-feel” unless you meet someone in the flesh.emote_seasons_by_upsguy1997-d4rl2ks
I’m tired of being alone every night, sifting thru my cat’s kitty-litter, dreaming & hoping for “The One,” to show up.—-
sign me, “All Out of Litter”.

.

 

 

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