Eugene Grapples with Orlando Massacre, decides to make everyone in Eugene gay!
“We thought it was the least we could do,” stated a LBGFPT gay member of “gay men who don’t want to be women, Local Union”. “It’s the only way we know, to make everyone non-homophobic, and have bigger, better party-bashes at the same time!! We party better than “breeders”, so why not share the fun, while protesting against violence?” The gay groups’ rep. did state to this reporter, that all the “breeders” in Eugene, who were to be transformed into either sex. did have a choice of sexes..”We want everyone to have freedom of choice,” said their leader, proudly.”That’s what Eugene is about, freedom of the individual!! We know that will stop any more terrorist homo-phobes from wreaking violence on any community.”
Eugene Weekens’ ORGANIC SATURDAY FARMERS’ MARKETS MAKE YOUR FOOD!!!!–SO EAT UP, AND PAY UP!!!
Granola is a munch-food, and a symbol of the organic food movement, and along with organically-made beer, wine,
beer-nuts,snacks and dips, Eugene businesses have made all this junk-food legitimate as REAL FOOD, and not just
something to give you a beer-belly. (ALL this junk is now good for you, even the carbs, because its all organic.)
ALL of the wonderful local organic food, and not have any bad effects, because its sanctified by the Goddess of
Naturalness and Compost-ability! That makes Lane COUNTY a “sanctified-organic-Holy-sustainabill Reighteous
Vindicated- Superior Expensive-Gentrified-Wowie-Pretencious PLACE!!” The doctors did say, that proof of rotten or
fungus-laden produce from organic farmers was a huge lie, dictated by mass-farming GMO-POO-POO-
Corporations, who make poisoned grain and food, and have killed thousands of people with GMO-POO-POO grains.
“ALL FOODS, other than organic,are bad for you,” stated the Eugene doctors, “You should STARVE unless you can get
organic food!! YES, stop eating, if you have no money for ORGANIC!! IT’s so much better for you!!–your bones will
Completely messy oil- Canvas, Lets EX-NYC resident
Think Herself into a State of Artiness:
Terella Roosevelt Vanderbilt Howard-Hughes, a transplant from the upper-east side of NYC a graduate of hi-toned art and music schools of the east coast, moved to paltry little town of Eugene, out of the goodness of her heart.”i had to find myself, express my anguish!!!” the renegade pacifist-vegan-radical-feminist-lesbian-organic-Marc Jacob-Neo-Liberal artist, who was surrounded by her art forms, paintings, and copies of WIN-Co grocery carts, transformed into miniatures, expansively –er..–expanded herself in her chic, hippie-art-goache-coated liv. room. “Those upper-east side fiends of New York wouldn’t let me have my anguish.””__she paused. “But now, ” she giggled, “they all moved to PORTLAND, and took it over!! HEE HEE HEE!”
SALVAGE LOVE: by Mikey Salvage