it is finally officially summer in Eugene Oregon. Because it’s HOT. May and April are only preparing for June, and it’s not a good idea to plant stuff before June because it’s not going to be warm or even hot before that. While Carolyn and I are perusing the sour – and filled with black hair, Chilean grapes (from Chile) in Winco grocery, (I now realize I cannot buy grapes from them, and those are not the grapes of wrath) I realize that my lack of appetite lately, is briefly because of the modern FOOD I have to eat. It’s quite different than the food in the past.

.”Sandra,” said Carolyn, as we pushed a grocery cart along,” you’ were in Sacramento and then you were in San Francisco for many years, you don’t know what the food is like here anymore. California was always different.”..  “even here on our place it was different,” I said “when my family was alive and planting and growing stuff. We had fruit a lot better then you could buy at the grocery, because our dad was one of the first organic gardeners during the 50s.he stopped using DDT, and started composting and using animals manure for fertilizer.” “Didn’t you say that some of your Apples had Little worms in sometimes?” Asked Carolyn.”yes,” I replied, stiffly, “so what? And it tasted a lot better.”

“this isn’t an agricultural area, in Lane County, Eugene, and even in Oregon anymore.. I noticed the grocery store gets all their fruit and vegetables from California, (AND winco, FROM SOUTH AMERICA,) and it’s like buying diamonds to eat.” I said, waving at the Safeway sign we were going by later. “Whoever would’ve thought that Safeway would’ve had MAINLY ORGANICALLY grown fruit and vegetables? And cost as much as the farmers market?”

But I continued on, because the thing that really bothered me, was how BAD the fruit was, and how MUCH it cost.for somebody who really liked to cook, in the past, and got paid for teaching people how to cook, it was very discouraging. I even thought to myself “it’s already happening – the big shortages of food like they predicted, there already happening!”


whoever would’ve thought that that old movie, “SOYLENT GREEN” , that was science fiction from the 60s,could start to come true in real life! Back then it sounded like a ridiculous prophecy. What, the United States run out of food, and have food so expensive, you couldn’t afford to eat? Ridiculous!

We have agribusiness, they will never let us down! Well, not down in the dirt anyhow. Who needs to garden your food, when you could just get it from good old cheap secure Safeway supermarkets?

but in reality, trying to grow food in your backyard, in Eugene Oregon, is not so easy anymore. The weather does not cooperate; the water doesn’t cooperate and we have over a 10 year drought, not enough water here anymore. The weather is so UNPREDICTABLE, you could even face a July that has cloudy cold damp, sunless sky. And all your garden would go MOLD. It happened to me when I came back here. For a couple of years I tried to grow food again here, right on the old estate, and it was terrible.the only thing that was the slightest successful, was a bunch of herbs in window boxes, without Windows. (I figured the big wooden window boxes, The plants completely separate from NATURE,  had a better chance. )Why didn’t I just garden inside, and forget the outside?

“yes,” said Carolyn, “all the old-timers here, say that the weather in the Valley has drastically changed, over the years; one lady told me, the gardening here used to be fabulous and not so hard, but now because of all the cold overcast sunless days, and the drought, it ain’t so great anymore. You have better luck getting sunshine in Salem.”  “I haven’t seen such large banana slugs,” I said, “since I saw  large supersize plantain bananas.all the bugs, they eat your garden alive, have increased by 10 fold!” “Now,” replied Carolyn, “you are right about that. You said you had large armies of ants marching into your house, when you came back, as if you were traveling in a jungle?”

“oh yeah,” I remembered, looking for bananas, or something that seemed a little bit like a banana?” Yes, a result of global warming is a tremendous amount of BUGS of all kinds,that  have multiplied so much over the globe,, we have sheer epidemics of bugs. In fact, they’re starting to recommend that people eat bugs instead of regular food, for the protein.UGH!!! I’m sorry, I read stories of people eating shoe leather, and the leather covers of books, in science fiction, I didn’t think I’d really have to do it.”  “doesn’t it remind you of the lion King?” Giggled Carolyn, “where the lion and his friends  were in a part of the jungle, or land, where they found all this free food, you’d didn’t have to fight for, but it was all bugs and slugs, and GUI-=-junk? Ha ha!”

this was not the weight loss diet I had been thinking of and planning. It made starving look attractive.

“that poor gorilla won’t need anymore bananas,” sighed Caroline, still looking for the bananas. “those cops killed him lickety-split! they didn’t even wait for him to lay a finger on the kid who fell into his cage! Oh, and I hear that the bystanders also started screaming and shrieking  and ,yelling at the gorilla, as soon as it happened, trying to get him worked up into a frenzy so that he would attack the kid.”

“are people really smart? Why didn’t they just shoot the kid and keep the gorilla? That gorilla was very very valuable, and extremely expensive and rare, now all they have left is the stupid little worthless kid, when I believe the parents had plenty more to spare But the zoo, and wildlife is out one big fat gorgeous silverback gorilla.(I’ve seen films of them, and they are quite beautiful.) I also saw the film of the kid, and he wasn’t worth saving. Take it from me, one kid is a lot like any other.”

I nodded at Carolyn as she said this. I definitely totally agreed. GORILLAS were not over-populated, people were. WE COULD SPARE A MILLION LITTLE DUMB, BADLY BRED AND RAISED, human kids, but gorillas were VALUABLE, to any intelligent person. WHY? WELL, they’re more attractive than most humans, SILVERBACKS are magnificent creatures, and they’re probably a lot smarter than people.

have you seen any gorrillas with iPods, or mobile phones,  or androids, or driving a Prius, taking illegal drugs, smoking, politicking, or spreading AIDS all over the place? reading the New York Times? Living in New York City?buying and wearing designer clothes?Nope. PEOPLE do that, not gorrillas. NOW, who do you figure is most intelligent anyhow? definitely NOT people.

“you’re beginning to sound like Dr. Doolittle,” said Carolyn, smiling at me, “no, I replied smartly, “the only animal language I speak is BURMESE CAT. Every time I speak it, she looks for the cat All over the place.even elephants have a language! Quite frankly, I’d rather vote an elephant into political office, and I don’t mean the political party logo either. A REAL ELEPHANT. They’re matriarchal,, and they follow the head matriarch. They are not that often violent. And they’re so smart, they know exactly which relative is in the elephant graveyard, when they go there to mourn. ”  “So they really do have good memories!!” asked Carolyn.”I thought you were crazy about WHALES?’ “tHAT’S another mammalian, too.” I looked around,

“I smell bananas!!!” I said.

And my primitive instincts were right!!!  “AAAAH-OOOOO–GAAA!   ME-FIND—GREEN-BANANAS- ON SPECIAL THIS WEEK!!!””

(Sandraminadotty, realizing” WHY can’t people/be more like ANIMALS?”  in EUGENE, HOT. OREGON)  🙂


About WhatToDoWhileThePlanetDies

Eugene,Oregon,home of the U. of Oregon,is a dissolute,gay,hippie,broke, jobless, crime and drug-ridden courupt little no-account town, bulging with fleeing Californicators, who have pushed the natives out,done to Oregon what they did to cali; trashed it. the horrible grid-lock traffic, smog,bad freeways full of accidents have turned it into decayed Detroit.Everyone is broke, there are no jobs,it's left-wing extreme-fanatic crazy, and there are constant political conflicts.Oppression and stifiling city hall crooks fleece the citizens of taxes, it;s the Macon Georgia of the pacific northwest.Anyone who can, leaves.Landowners can't sell, they're stuck.Even the Nazi party would call it Hell.Willamette Valley has the worst pollen,smog,allergies, in the world.Nature and Man are out to get you here, welcome to Oregon!The trash-heap of the United States!

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