“I CAN’T POP POPCORN WITHOUT A MANUAL; WELCOME TO A SCI-FI FUTURE!– IN EUGENE, OREGON”

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(THE “NO-CHOICE-GOVT.”-OF-THE-NEW-BANANA-REPUBLIC)

here I am, in my old little kitchen, and I have had a gift of that fancy brand popcorn,Orville Redenbachers’ popcorn.

so, how do I pop this new popcorn? If you guys remember the old science fiction stories of the future, or even the Jetsons family in the future, you remember that our future would have all kinds of wonderful, easy to use, technically fancy superduper appliances. – – Which would do all the work automatically, and we wouldn’t have to do it. Well here we are in this fancy future, and it’s not exactly what we thought it was going to be.klink_by_creepyjellyfish-d7a49fu

for one thing, we now have CON – AGRA, the huge massive company that makes all food, just about. And they are in control of this fancy popcorn. So if you try to go and e-mail or talk to any of these people about why you can’t figure out how to microwave your popcorn, at the right speed or hotness, you can’t get a hold of anyone on any of their webpages.NO CUSTOMER SERVICE.SmileyFactory_by_Miamoto (2)

yeah, welcome to the future! We have machines we can’t figure out how to use. We have microwaves we can’t figure out how to POP POPCORN; we have to use the manual, just to figure out how to do it. And it still doesn’t work because the speed and the amount of corn is not the same as the microwave instructions.cute_robot___free_avvie_by_r0se_designs-d4ki7adgif

I was told long ago that I was more technically advanced then people in my age group, but I guess that’s not saying much. I was always the one who could program their VCR. And yet, now I cannot program the stupid microwave at the proper heat and speed. And, when I go on the website of the popcorn company, it turns out to be CONAGRA COMPANY,  and they don’t want to hear from you. Their supposed e-mail connection doesn’t exist.cubiclessmiley-chores015

the only thing that both these companies, the popcorn company and the huge massive food supplier, CONAGRA  have in common, is they both have a Facebook page. Maybe I should thank ZuckerBerg for inventing the only connection to companies who have no customer service and don’t want to give you any.. It is our only outlet to collar them, complain, and tell everybody they are fucking up.super_smash_bros_emote_by_MenInASuitcase

-if anyone actually cares, because WHERE ELSE CAN YOU GO, FOR FOOD SUPPLIES? CONAGRA IS IT.begplz

You can go to local small farms in Oregon, around Lane County, but that’s a long ways to go for your food. You have to drive all around all the different farms, finding your fruits and vegetables. Some people think that’s fun, but only because they’re young. I’m not.Emoticon_Rainbow_by_Shadall

I complained to Carolyn, as usual. “What they hell am I supposed to do, go get a computer education so I can use my microwave popcorn?” And then I thought, “how come all those wonderful science fiction writers didn’t predict this? This was never on Star Trek, they always had food makers that effortlessly made your food to exact specifications, and they tasted good. NO CONAGRA; NO TASTELESS FOOD. No lack of diversity, and complete conformism and boredom of food! Gene Roddenberry, you should turn over in your grave.”Most_of_my_DA_family__Part_Two_by_forestsofazarathexquisitechef

also, the future, the fabulous future, was not supposed to have no choices of food, that would force you to try and go out and raise your own watermelon, (if you could get the seeds on the black market,) Somehow, very expensive. “Antique seeds.” But forget raising your own food; we have major droughts, dry soil, bugs out of control. Welcome to “world climate change” and every other disgusting thing in Oregon,you can think of.huge BANANA SLUGS! And rampant out-of-control BLACKBERRY BUSHES.oddish_by_creepyjellyfish-d7a498b

OR you could spend a lot of gas and energy, running around to all those tiny little farms here, and paying a fortune for a watermelon, IF they were different than the “seedless, tasteless” watermelon in the supermarket.Driving_school_by_Kath602

NO THANK YOU! DO I want to make my life more futile, time-consuming, and harried? Nope!suicide (1)

all these little farms have not gotten together to have a very large farmers market. The one we have is tiny. So much for organically growing people,dancetogether who think we all have tons of gasoline in cars, and TIME, to go visit them and buy their stuff!once again, the fantasy version of “organic, natural, small farm LUXURY”.cresselia_by_creepyjellyfish-d7a43mw

the person who gave me the super Special fancy popcorn, I could not tell what troubles. I was having; I would sound really stupid. so, I guess I’ll try it at a different speed or hotness, and risk burning it. Or, I could just pour all the seeds into a big kettle, and do it over the stove,like the antique. I am.historcial03.gif kitchenstov

“Honey, remember your old granny, when I’m on my deathbed, telling you, can’t you please pop me some of that stupid popcorn before I die? That is my last wish!”_granny__rewamp_by_MenInASuitcase

a lot of things in the fabulous future that were predicted did not work out; nobody predicted thatstrip03.gif hulagirl strip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirlstrip03.gif hulagirl Haiti would not ever be able to feed itself, and would suck off the rest of the world forever. Nobody predicted that lots of the world would get AIDS, and start dying off. EVERYBODY predicted that we would go out into outer space and go to other planets, far, far away, and settle them, and live elsewhere.Futurama_emote_by_MenInASuitcase

POO-BAH. EVEN to Star Trek! that is not going to happen. First, we will overpopulate the planet, and start killing all the oceans;all starve to death, kill each other for remaining food, kill off all the wild animals, and exhaust all the fish in the ocean.Spin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_DroneguardSpin_it_good_by_Droneguard

REALITY TRUMPS IDEALISM’S view of mankind.Shootin_ma_layzor_at_yous_by_Droneguard

no sci-fi predictions of dictatorships ruling all the countries, and making life very restricted, with no privacy, and every single thing you have ever done, in records, probably with the government.YEAH, NO PRIVACY, with a capital P. (Oh, there is one author who predicted a lot of this, the guy who wrote “1984” and “animal Farm”. Unfortunately, he was right on the money.)bookworm

one of the strangest things, no sci-fi predictions that young people would stop reading books,Smoking stop writing, not be able to sign their names, beethoven_by_angelratdesigns and give up trying to think. –getting-stoned Conformism rampanthookah_by_chimajra-d30bpce . And no predictions that all customer service by young people in every single retail store  ,you can think of, would vanish with your youth.NO RETAIL EMPLOYEES! You are supposed to go to these huge massive marketplaces and do your own service in their store.dumbasssmiley-level1_don004

I was getting pretty depressed  and discouraged about all those sci-fi predictionsforever_busy_by_kinnisonarc-d3cafuwof the future, that didn’t pan out, when I suddenly remember one that did; all my business dealings with the huge massive website called “AliBaba”bek047.gif  chinese emoticon run and owned by the Chinese.bek047.gif  chinese emoticon Talk about customer service! bek047.gif  chinese emoticonThey have got it! The most reasonable and polite and helpful salespeople and customer service people I have ever met in my life. And considering I have nobek047.gif  chinese emoticon Mandarin Chinesebek047.gif  chinese emoticon, and they only have broken English,bek047.gif  chinese emoticon they certainly helped me figure it out.

yes, nobody predicted in_portal__by_super_hedgehog-d4mxa94 all those wonderful sci-fi ramblings,Emoticon___Portal_Splat_by_SchwanX24 that an Asian nation would grow big and powerful, and just about handle all the products of the world, and even have a very well –working website, where you could bridge the gap between nations, and look for products that America never makes.(okay, okay, I know all the downside of China’s  employment, and slave labor. How could I not know?)_trapped__by_Sneffy

I bet that if I went to them, complaining about how to do microwave popcorn, they would be endlessly courteous and helpful. Just over popcorn!ems512popcorn___free_avvie_by_r0se_designs-d3ici9qgif

America, wake up and smell the popcorn! You have gotten rid of all customer service in every company in the United States, of any kind, and you just slit your own throat. panicatthediscoplz– Because people want good customer serviceemo23.gifrolleyes, and now they can’t get itquestionable anywhere, so they stop buying your stuff.guess who has very_free_icon_emote__totoro___heart__by_mochatchi-d8iedi7 good customer service? AliBaba website.

and that was never predicted in the future, that the white racePacman_Machine_by_Davidgtza2 would become so downgraded, and inept, they could not do_fly__by_KimRaiFan anything anymore, couldn’t produce anything, and sat there looking dumb with drool dripping out of its mouth. “Let the Asians do it. im-a-tardLet them make everything!”so when you try to buy a product, or try to retail it, it doesn’t exist. Made in America, you have to go to China. Not because you WANT TO, just because our spoiled little white race has forgotten how to do anything._bored__by_royaba-d3307fk

AMERICANS, you let everybody else do everything for you, including machines. smiley-rolling-joint

what a future! I don’t think anyone wanted to predict this one! moonconspiracy

suddenly, I don’t want any popcorn. I’ve just lost my appetite. A good way to stay on my diet, look at reality._clueless__remake_by_arrioch

Yeah, science-fiction is great,desk_dream_by_krissi001-d2xup7k it did predict many technical miracles, except it never told how we wouldn’t know how to use them.–that our wonderful foods would taste like cardboard; that billionsbandplayin123 of folk would keep cramping the planet to the bursting pointWot_emotes_by_Droneguard–and that though we did have futuristic marvels, mankind himself would not improve, or gain huge knowledge or advancement. –and instead just get MOLDY.   The same old human beingsget_of_mah_lawn_by_de_mote from ancient ages, who still hated logic, hated verystamp_collection_by_krissi001-d671pp5 smart scientists, and went around acting out the barbarism of violent ak47 (1) chimpanzees. Mankind still of  the Dark Ages. Harry_Potter___Hufflepuf_by_Momma__G

Welcome to the future-present; it makes ancient times seem appealing.what_emoticons_are_made_of_by_devlant

(Sandraminadotty, in Eugene, Oregon, lost my appetite back in the past. _blowing_tree__by_luckylinx 😦 )  😦

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About WhatToDoWhileThePlanetDies

Eugene,Oregon,home of the U. of Oregon,is a dissolute,gay,hippie,broke, jobless, crime and drug-ridden courupt little no-account town, bulging with fleeing Californicators, who have pushed the natives out,done to Oregon what they did to cali; trashed it. the horrible grid-lock traffic, smog,bad freeways full of accidents have turned it into decayed Detroit.Everyone is broke, there are no jobs,it's left-wing extreme-fanatic crazy, and there are constant political conflicts.Oppression and stifiling city hall crooks fleece the citizens of taxes, it;s the Macon Georgia of the pacific northwest.Anyone who can, leaves.Landowners can't sell, they're stuck.Even the Nazi party would call it Hell.Willamette Valley has the worst pollen,smog,allergies, in the world.Nature and Man are out to get you here, welcome to Oregon!The trash-heap of the United States!

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