(AXEL’S VIEW OF EUGENE OR, FREEWAY TRAFFIC)
(Reuters’ wire service, US NEWS:) “while Don Kahle, special for the register guard newspaper, reports that this is the Oregon Legislature’s “silly season”, in Salem, Oregon, because all of these bills passed by them,as it tends to be “silly” in the extreme, such as passing laws against criminals so that they can’t get any firearms, there are other silly things going on, that the legislature is determined to pass laws against; even though laws will not do anything, without enforcement, which Salem doesn’t worry about.
“In the meantime, the routers wire service decided to vote Eugene Oregon highways and freeways the most cluttered and dangerous freeways in the United States, and hence the Pacific Northwest. While Los Angeles usually gets this honor, the masses of humanity who have moved to Eugene Oregon, from LA, have congregated to help make this area of Oregon one of the most famous in the Pacific Northwest for congested, slow, and propensity Of Left lane hoggers– congregation. Excusing of course, all of the religious congregations that live here.”
“It is to be admired, that that news service,can recognize the incredible disturbance in the minds of the Oregon Legislature, in that they have once again decided that by merely passing laws, magical things will come about, in Lane County, and other places in Oregon, so that drivers will magically appear to know what is expected of them, when they cannot remember any of the highway rules and driving rules.– –and that the Oregon Legislature has had too long a history of sniffing Angel – dust, and various other psychedelics, to know that just passing a law, does not guarantee enforcement of it. (Even though the august legislature members regularly get bribed, so that they know where their money’s coming from, which is the type of logic they cannot ignore.)”
“(oh my, why is my kitty getting the pooh-poohs so much? Did she get any of that broken glass from the broken bottle of coconut butter, in her paws? And is she trying to use the tube of “Sentry hairball relief, for cats, helps eliminate and prevent hairballs – fish flavor – net weight 4.4 ounces (125 g)”to get rid of it? How would Shakespeare put that? Did he own a cat? Would he then write “is this a hairball I see before me? Or is it just the Phantom or ghost of a hairball?” (All pardons to the Bard; there’s no way we can be as poetic as he was.).”
“Now, back to routers wire service incredible yielding, compromising, I mean non-compromising, report of Eugene Oregon and their outstanding melodious freeway smarts, on-ramp drivers, metered traffic lights, and blinking yellow left arrows at certain intersections, as well as a certain fantastically written and drawn out plan to cut up Williamette Street, and insert a large bowl full of peace health Hospital drugstores, in place of any type of commercial stores. And we’re also including getting rid of any antique stores, and sending them out to as far away as Corvallis, to set up shop.”
“However we digress; which is one of our favorite hobbies. The fact is that routers wire service knows what they’re talking about, and that highway yielding, compromising, peaceful merging, and non-swearing traffic has decided to vanish in Eugene Oregon, never more to be seen, hastening the vanishing also of bicycle riders in that town. (I mean, major city.)This leads up to the encouragement of motorcycle gangs, to move here, make their club headquarters here, and, with the old ideas once again, of leveling miles of chain discouragingly at car traffic that gets in their way.” (Oh the woes of Marlon Brando and “silly method actors I have known!.”)
“Does this also mean that, giving your cat too many “treats”, can render your cat full of pooh-pooh woes, consecrating said cat to a set weekend of sandbox patrolling? Or, does that mean that she snuck into the refrigerator again, and slurped up all the yogurt?” would Shakespeare worry about something like this? Or, would he just worry that his crow quill pen was getting ink all over his script? and that he was only getting paid two cents on the dollar for writing plays?”
“We have to, in fact congratulate Don Kahle for recognizing an impenetrable human truism; “can’t we all just get along?” Answer: “no, we can’t.” Rodney King, go back to school, you haven’t paid attention to all of human history. Although that doesn’t have anything to do with Kitty pooh-pooh, or the agonies of “McBeth” when he figured out that it was only a page of script he saw before him, not a sword, not a ghost.”
“And in fact, is routers wire service correct, in their statement that Eugene Oregon, and the County of Lane, has some of the very worst highway and freeway traffic in all of the United States including Washington DC, and Baltimore, and New York State and the city of New York?,is it possible that all the blinking yellow left arrows at certain intersections, have combined to render drivers insensible and overly selfish in right lane turning, and systemwide–safety– ignoring,, while drivers feel increasingly detached from external conditions, and only notice other drivers when they are leveling shotguns at them? Or, in the case of Oregon, a background gun –control– law wholly overreaching logic, and stretching to the far out reaches of beer drinking, beer boutiquing– Washington state upper-middle-class enrichment programs?
“yes, it is very possible that routers wire service is completely impenetrable and wholly correct in their assessment of this county and city and their massive war against intelligent driving and intelligent bicycling and pedestrian trafficing, on this side of the Allegheny. – Although we don’t know where the Allegheny is, or what it means, or if it’s in the English language are not. It just sounds good to us.
“Congratulations, to the register guard newspaper, and to Don Kahle and their wonderful channeling of drivers, traffic, the daily show, and state law, which states that drivers must not impede the normal and reasonable movement of traffic, unless they are stopping for a burrito with hot sauce.” The fact is, that they have to stop, is because this burrito has really good green chili sauce, and not red, which is very unusual in Eugene, considering how much it’s always into the Red. ”
“And all congratulations to the County of Lane, and the city of Eugene, for finally getting itself noticed and pinned to the map for something other than high unemployment rates and the magnitude of hippie to upper-middle-class Californian immigrant, and the hereto for complete absence of lumber and lumber mill processing jobs!. And it’s reputation as LA-LA LAND DROUGHT-CAPITAL of the Pacific Northwest.!as I congratulate my next-door neighbors, for constantly smoking pot on their porch, so heavily, that everybody who goes by can smell it wafting in the wind.”
“So goes River Road, so goes this county, so goes Eugene, as goes John Stewart from his anchor chair, while he decides whether or not to join the “silly season” of the Oregon Legislature, by moving here and running for it.and thus making it far more intelligent, than it used to be, while it passed laws against picking wildflowers, lying on meadows and crushing the grass, and reducing the amount of pesticide sprayed on all the bees, and hence getting rid of all of the little stingers that give us such a knock in the butt, while they try to inseminate all our fruit and flowers instead of dying the way they’re supposed to.”
“you really can’t blame routers wire service, for not adding the ratio of sprayed pesticide to bee, in Oregon overall, seeing that the Oregon Legislature has also passed a silly season law against bees because we don’t grow fruit here anymore, and we don’t really need the little buggers bothering us on our picnics. Don’t get on routers wire service for that, they can only do so much reporting about all the bad stuff in Oregon, there’s just too much for anybody to start counting.”
(Sandraminadotty, microscopic newswire service of River Road, just collating the information we get, and spreading it all wet to the public at large. Or, at least in Eugene and in this county. Celebrate how sacred is “the silly season of the Oregon Legislature” because it actually spreads to the entire year long. HALLELUJAH!) 🙂
“special thanks to artist Axel, “2draw.net”,of Colorado, for rendering that very special view of fantastic phantasmagoric Eugene Oregon traffic pileup!”we salute you! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!” Keep on truckin’!”