(modern menorah for Hanukkah, Oregon artist)
if you want to make new friends in Eugene Oregon, and Lane County, probably the holiday season is not a good time. If you are a senior, and you go to the big Christmas Day senior dinner, which is usually held at the local big hotel, if you go by yourself, you’re definitely not going to meet anybody except for that one day. Everyone goes to that with their husband or wife, or their social group, whatever it is, and if you go alone you might very well end up alone. Maybe someone will talk to you, and be friendly, have a nice Christmas dinner, but don’t expect to make any new friends out of it.
If you go to the very large synagogue in the Valley, it’s all cut up into segregated types of people, who don’t like to mix very much. For example, the Jews from San Diego, or other parts of California, who are pretty well off and all go everywhere in couples, don’t like to socialize with the Jews who are single, and much less fortunate. Sitting at a table with all women, who are seniors, and don’t have any family, can be depressing.all the couples who are seniors, like to sit in their own groups, with their own type of people.– – usually middle-class retired or upper-middle-class.I suppose because it’s such a large synagogue, it gets very segregated among social and financial groups.
So if it’s the holiday season, just about the only thing you can do, unless you already HAVE FRIENDS, is to go through the holidays with some of your family. If you don’t have any, that’s tough. And if you don’t ALREADY have friends, from most of your lifetime, making new ones is extremely hard here.people are very cliquey.people who are older are not ready to take on new friends, they rely on their old ones. If you have moved, as a senior, and are trying to make new friends again, good luck. You better have some kind of PARTNER to do it with. Doing it alone is much harder. People who try to meet others, by themselves always look lonely, and the instinct of social groups, is to be very suspicious of single people. Even churches and synagogues like family groups or couples a lot better.
Eugene Oregon has never been a very warmhearted and very friendly town. If you wanted to make friends, usually you had to join their church, and keep going to church. Or, join a lodge.The alternatives are to take on a “conformist – social – activist – subject – persona”, bone up on all the clichés, and all the stereo typical characteristics of that group, and then go and pretend that you’ve been doing this a long time,and that you are THAT CONFORMIST-GROUPPIE completely!
one of the most conformist, stereotyped, group-think bunches in Eugene and Lane County, is being “organic, GREEN, vegetarian, against gluten, carbon footprint aware, environmentally conscious, small farmer, organic small farmer, and anti-GMO-produce or farming.”this is fairly simple, but you have to memorize all the rules, words, meanings, attitudes, and conformist saying and codewords.
Don’t admit that you like carbonated, sugarless soda pop. Only admit that you drink plenty of green tea, and you’re up on all the latest very organic foods and stuff like soy. AND, this is very important, you have to make sure that you’re carrying around a lot of self righteous rage, against agribusiness, and anything that isn’t ORGANIC.it’s especially important to be passionate about this even if you’re fraudulently passionate.
If you can’t stomach this type of very conformist, often irrational attitude, and platitudes, you can always decide to be very REALLY religious and go to a religious group or church. Those might be a lot easier to put up with; you don’t have to believe in Kale, you only have to believe in some type of God.of course, if you can’t stand studying the Bible regularly, and trying to quote out of it, and trying to figure out just WHAT you’re supposed to believe in, or not believe in, it can be confusing. Maybe for some people, believing in kale could be a lot easier.– – if you can stomach it all the time. Along with severe vegetarianism.
All right, maybe being a religious zealot is easier on the stomach.and the good thing about belonging to a church is, you probably get to do GOOD DEEDS. In fact, you’re probably going to be required to do some good deeds, because God would like it that way. If you’re like most people, doing good deeds does not come easily, some type of religious belief can make it a lot easier. For example, if you’re extremely rich, doing good deeds for ordinary people, like donating money, can be extremely hard.
That’s because for very rich people, their religion IS MONEY.and if you don’t fight hard to hang onto it, and to make it, you’re not going to have it. It can be the whole basis for a person’s life, a really particularly sanctimonious religious belief, that you deserve so much more wealth than others, because you are completely justified. Justifying your wealth can be pretty sticky. So to justify that wealth, you have to SPEND IT.That can bring you a LOT of “friends”, although the downside is, of course you’re not sure whether they are friends of yours, or friends of your MONEY. And be careful if you ever want to marry one of these friends. It’s called “prenuptial agreement.”
if you still don’t want to go to all this trouble, to try and be particularly conformist, and being very rich could be difficult for you, you can settle for being extremely fond of beer and pizza, and even into “boutique and other fashionable beer and ale.” Since Oregonians tend to group largely into this,it’s at least better tasting than the vegetarianism. (And fattening.) You can really pick up a lot of nice lifelong friends, over a sixpack or two of Bud, Coors, or some hoitty-toitty Oregon craft beer that’s fashionable.just watch what you say, when you’ve had too many; don’t reveal yourself as a nonconformist, it could be especially bad here. Especially in this county of Lane, city of Eugene.
If you work for the University of Oregon, of course you’re probably fairly liberal; you already know the right things to say, and even the right CLOTHES and hair-style. You probably know the attitudes and politics you need to know.Even the hobbies they have! Thus, socializing is fairly easy, even if you’re new. Ditto if you are a student; this is a very liberal university, if you’re very conservative maybe some college OUTSIDE Oregon would be better.Ditto for workers or teachers; letting people know you are conservative could easily get the roaming internet Arab-Jihadist-Political group on you. They like to attack any online website comments-page of the good old RG from any of you who protest Terrorism or ISIS.
Gardening groups are popular, if you want to GROW SOMETHING in Oregon.Making new friends is not guaranteed, nor is being able to grow anything. Oregon weather freezes, hails, snows, rains,over-casts gloom, and rotts. A greenhouse & grow-lights, tools, soil, fertilizers, seeds, plants will run you much money.I forgot WORK; LOTS of WORK. And if you find making friends with the Earth is too much labor, consider something less strenuous. Beer-friending and bars, saloons, and craft-beer-fairs is still an Oregon favorite.
If you want to make gay friends, it’s probably easier if YOU are gay too.Running after gay friends might be fun,but gay people might get rather frustrated with you, after a while if you just ACT GAY,but refuse to DO anything gay.You can get accused of being “too much in the closet,” “in denial,” or of being a straight who is SLUMMING. Even without the “slums”, “SLUMMING” is a middle-class, or wealthier person’s idea of “having fun among the peons, where you don’t have to restrain your behavior. Or care what you do.”
If, after all these social groups, and volunteering, you still find it’s difficult to make friends here, consider this option; think seriously of moving AWAY from Eugene, into Springfield or out of Lane county completely, off to one of the little towns further out.Junction City, Corvallis, there’s a whole list of them. They are probably not so “fashionable, very liberal, or fanactical. ” and you might not have to be so “liberal conformist” as you would in Eugene. As for “cliques, ” I can’t guarantee it; but liberal Eugene is notoriously cliquey, it can’t be much worse than Eugene.
You will be relieved cause making complex beaded jewelry, beading a CAMEL by hand, or buying $5,000. worth of jewelry-supplies won’t be necessary, and forgetting about breaking into the latest Jewelry-making group in Eugene,won’t require fanatical TINY beads and thin needles you can’t thread, and tissue-paper thread you can’t SEE. You’ll be relieved of the task of working with tiny beads the size of invisible shrimp-eggs, when other members of the group know how to TEACH jewelry already; and it’ll take you 20 yrs. to catch up to them.Twenty years you don’t HAVE.
At the end of this article, I advise you to make new friends by being who you REALLY ARE. Even if you’re in Eugene, that might at least at least keep fanactical hippies, greenies, & very fashionable “organic” people away from you, and ease your angst at having to put up with them. Beer-snobs are still better, at least they’re just BEER-DRINKERS in fashionable diguise. The same goes for church or religious organizations; how many of their members do you think REALLY BELIEVE everything about God that they say they do?Even the Minister! But doing good deeds for others absolves them of any lack of faith. Believing in your fellow-man can be much more important.
(Sandraminadotty, who is a “Friend of Life”, at least some of the time, and not “Organic” any time, and switched over to making “cranberry-orange relish” at Xmas time. That’s the only season they sell fresh cranberries! 🙂 ) :