(picture donated by Java frustrated artist with bamboo pen tablet)
my problems began, when I was forced, against my will, to update my computer with Java eight update. Thus began my many trials. After trying all the instructions on Oracle website, and Java website, and e-mailing to salesman, and developers, and executives of Oracle, trying out their instructions and failing to get Java eight from blocking all my websites, so I can’t use them, I give up.
I even called up my really good computer repair man “savvy duck”,quack quack. He gave me some advice, and I tried those instructions, and it still didn’t work. All the art and other websites I went to, which required Java to run their applets or their chat rooms, all tanked. I was banned! By Java eight! – – From using my websites! So were other people. I went on YouTube, to find help, and everyone else was complaining, in the business world, the Java number eight with fucking them up so badly, they did expensive and time–wasting computer maneuvers, so they could finagle their computer systems, to use a lower grade Java instead.
THAT was very discouraging to hear. All the big businesses, were having trouble because Java would run for them either! Ouch! So how was I going to fix my little stupid computer situation? I didn’t have that much money to hire an engineer! They literally banned me from quite a few websites that way. When you try to run an applet for example, from “2draw.net”, a big sign comes up saying “security block, Java denies entry to insecure site.!” Or some other kind of Nazi – certificate blocking mechanism. All of our former certificates for the websites, were no longer good enough for Java number eight.
however, I did find out a secret, with all my investigation, and hiring a private detective or two; all of this Java update security blocking, is not being done by an American company. It is being done by a middle eastern,ISIS terrorist – organization, that is very tech savvy, and come up with this idea, to bribe Oracle to screw up their new Java to hell, and all our technology would fall apart. Nobody would be able to get any business done, because Java number eight would deny all entry.and deny all functions to operate. So technically Oracle is doing it, but they’re being paid a WHOLE LOT OF TERRORIST MONEY, to destroy our use of Java.
Reason being, everybody in the world need Java to run their computers. So,ISIS guys, who are doing all this stuff on the Internet, so well, that they are getting little kids girls and boys, to run away from their homes, in America and in Europe, run over to the Middle East and join ISIS! (that is really happening, kiddo.) – – Is also so computer savvy, after luring all those kids to join them, and not let them go home, ha ha! – – Is also fucking up Java so it can collapse the whole business world, and, all of we users.
just remember you read it here first. Oracle’s Java is a terrorist plot, bribed by ISIS to destroy the business world. And it’s working. Thank you so much, Oracle! Somehow, during all this war, I hope we find a good substitute software, for Java, that will run all our computers. Instead of Oracle!
Allah,` be praised! (I’d put up a satirical picture of Allah but you’d bomb my blog and haul out my ass, and cut my head off! On videotape! Not the way I want to be remembered.)too bad you guys don’t turn around and do the same thing to Oracle!