(PAINTING OF INDIAN CORN,IN SUMMER, DONATED BY OR ARTIST)
If there’s anything I like the best in summer, it is fresh corn; I wander down to my nearby, by car of course, huge warehouse discount supermarket, which doesn’t discount very far. I am going to buy some fresh corn, and eat it no matter how badly my diet screams.(no butter just salt.)
Carolyn has decided to go with me, because she is hungry for ice cream. In the box. And so we saunter, as well as someone can saunter who’s so big, through the entrance. But we are distracted from food, at the opening of the store, by some people who are taking donations and holding up signs.
“FEED POOR CENTRAL AMERICAN CHILDREN !” reads one of the signs.. And one of the volunteers holds up a picture of very poor looking, multiple little cute Latino kids, looking tremendously hungry; and with very bad feet having run so far across our borders. One of the kind people, taking donations, is trying to get shoppers to sign a petition to have these poor children automatically made American citizens, and housed and fed and paid for by the United States government.
“Gee, isn’t that horrible?” I said to Carolyn, pausing. “Those poor Central American kids got lost from all their parents, and accidentally ran right over our borders! Is that bad parenting or what? I bet they don’t even know their kids are missing yet.” I felt very sympathetic, and pulled out a couple pennies. Carolyn looked a little cynical, and shook her head.
“those kids were deliberately run over our border,” she said dryly, “as a big ploy to make everybody feel so sorry for them, that they’ll all adopt and keep those kids, and then that makes their parents eligible to come right over also, and automatically become citizens.. Pretty clever, but not very nice. I don’t think I’d do that to my kids, run them a lot of miles over a border, alone, into a strange country, and use them as pawns.
“if these kids had parents, which I actually doubt, what kind of a person would use his kid that way, as a weapon, into an unknown territory,like using a weapon in a political war? Very nice , if I must say so. Really really nice!” We decided to skip the donation, and just go in and donate some corn and ice cream to ourselves. God knows we had little enough money, and we were going to get taxed by the federal government, eventually, to cover the cost of all those little runners. – And everybody was going to feel sorry for them, but not for taxpayers.
As I pinched and poked a watermelon, I said to Carolyn, calmly “where are they putting all those kids anyway? Aren’t they taking over American territory, and buildings and areas to house them?” And Carolyn replied, pinching a cucumber, pinch pinch, “yes and some of the inhabitants are putting up a big protest, because they don’t want the kids, hundreds of them, in their region, so everybody has to take care of them.”
I replied, pinching a cauliflower, without much effect, “yeah, if you skip having kids, what right do they have, to send a whole bunch of them over the border, forcing you to go into motherhood mode, and become a mommy anyway?I deliberately didn’t have any kids, but now I’m getting forced to PAY for somebody else’s KIDS! Where does it say in the Constitution, that the government can give you KIDS, to take care of, when Planned Parenthood told you you didn’t have to? It’s not like I didn’t take all that birth control for a very good reason!”
“That’s been happening for years,” replied Carolyn, trying to pinch a carrot, and only getting her fingers bruised. “It’s called WELFARE. You’ve actually been supporting other people, and their kids, most of your working life, without any choice. That’s what happens when people have kids they can’t take care of; YOU GET TO PAY FOR THEM.. Don’t you know anything about how our country gets run? For Christ’s sake.” She looked for some softer carrots; maybe baby carrots?
OOPS, that was the wrong thing to call a carrot;a cute little baby! All THOSE dear poor cute little baby carrots!SO CUTE, I even hate to eat them, in their little plastic baggie! Problem is, those cute darling little baby carrots are so EXPENSIVE. Ditto those cute little baby ILLEGAL immigrants, running their cute little feet it here, forcing us to take care of them, because we are such a nice, sweet, kind, sympathetic American- Patsys.
That’s us, the kind,sweet, caring, sympathetic.and BROKE Americans! Taking care of everybody else’s kids except our own! That makes sense. We are the schnooks of the continent !!The kind,soft, push-over Amerikanskis!!! We’ll adopt anyone’s kids and babies, import poor Russian babies,toddlers, Korean little darlings, and Chinese dimpled little angels!! (How many does Angelina Jolie have now?Maybe she could use some Spanish-prattling– dinky-cerveza– snorters? Unless she’s snobby about South American diseases.)
“Hmm..” I paused before the freezers of cheapo ice milk,and ice cream with hydrogenated palm oil,motor oil,and coconut stearate with potassium;(gotta read those ingredients, son!!They might slip you some chile peppers in your dehydrated, non-hypoterated, chlorine-free, hydroplasticized imitation flavor deluxe ice cream!!) “Do you want Jalapenos in your cookies & cream,Caroline?It’s a new flavor.Says here, it gives you extra energy.” “Crap, no!!”she replied.”I have enough problems with IBS NOW!!”
We finally exited the super-duper-whole-sale-/retail-discount-day-old, rejected-produce market, dragging our big American tails behind us. “Crud,. I hate ice milk,” said Caroline,as we got into her used, non-braking, ten-yr.-old-pus-laden Ford Eldorado compact, which some uncle had sold her.(The brakes did work, sometimes.)”Come home with me,”I said, “and I’ll get out the old blender,and make you some home-made,non-fat-dry-milk-diet ice cream,:”I said, “with Splenda and sugar twin,and it’ll still taste better than that slop”.
Getting our broke, used, 2nd and 3rd rate selves home, and not running into any trains, we got some ice cubes,and started to really cook.(I mean, freeze.)”Sorry about the broken screen door,”I said, “I don’t have any dough to fix it.;the taxes were higher this year.”We got the used, 20-yr.-old-blender to crank out some softy goo,and set it in the freezer to firm up.:”NO hagen daz this year?” I shook my head.”Even Vogue magazine is down to this,:”I showed her the thin slip of magazine.:”I think Conde Nast is running on food stamps and rations by now. That is the umpteenth big company to almost go broke.I can’t count em all.”
We sat down to watch the news, on my 25-yr.old Sony tv, which was turning it’s TUBE green now.”I have to go and get a used tv, at St. Vincent De Paul,”I apologized, while we slurped the frozen delight.”When I get more $$, I can fix that broken back window,too.” “Better fix it before winter,”slurped Caroline,”Your heat will all run out of the house!!” “No big deal,”I replied,”I can’t pay for heating anyhow!!Nothing to leak out the window!”
“I’m sorry about the leaky smoke,from the car,”said Caroline,”I don’t have a muffler on the car anymore.” “Don’t feel bad,”I said, watching the tv news turn green.”At least you HAVE a car. ” “For now,till the cops catch me,ha ha.”
No one should watch FOX News, of course, cause they were reporting that the central american army had run captured, imprisoned kiddies over our borders,and they were all slave-traffic- orphans, from orphanages,that had been taken over by the army,and used as TOOLS. Not only that, a lot of them had typhoid, cholera, and a couple of other very contagious diseases,and the staff caring for them was down and sick now.”Wow,” I said, to Caroline,” Does that mean we all get diseased and really sick? Can’t they just wash them? I don’t have my typhoid shots!!” “Oh, oh, shit, that was clever!!” replied Caroline, stricken.”Just run diseases on kids, over the borders,and we all go to hell!!:”
“OH,OH, it also says they are hiding shipments of heroin in their–er–parts that kids aren’t supposed to use yet. (???)What do you call little mules?Muletitas?Burretas? or Burritas? Buretitas? My Spanish is SPANGLISH, and my Porto-gues is non-existant.” “At least those kids have JOBS,” sighed Caroline.”I wonder if I could get work with a drug cartel? What do you have to do?I swallowed wierder stuff than that when I was a kid!”
The green screen tv continued to show the kids in the rooms, beds, dining rooms, they now had; there was their lunch break.”HEY!!” yelled Caroline suddenly.”Look!!Those kids have REAL ICE CREAM!! OH MY GOD!! FULL-FAT-CREAM and that’s a primo ice cream company!!” She drooled. “No hydrogenation,”she sighed.”How can you get so lucky?” She looked at my broken screen door. busted window,.and realized her brakes on her car would not get her home this time.”Can I stay in your storage room?” “Sure,” I replied, “Just pull out the used old plastic foam roll,. and yer home.”(No AC,. it’s still busted.)
NO BORDERS anymore, but how do we run over there, to central America, and get some jobs from THEM? They owe us, after all, if we have to baby-sit their little monsters, get their diseases,and THEY GET our best ice cream, doesn’t it work both ways? NO, I guess it never does; the taxes go TO THE fed. govt. and nothing comes out, unless it goes overseas. Or over the border. SHIT.
I sure would like to rustle up a used, 2nd-rate, still- active neutron-bomb, or two,and declare war on South and Central America!! Just think, more war!!More war industry!!More soldier jobs!!Less broke guys on the streets,and instead,have those unemployed, haunting the south land with arms and tanks!!Getting PAID finally again.
(Sandraminadotty, broke and hot in the dried out Eugene, Lane County Oregon 🙂 )