“MENTAL TELEPATHY IN EUGENE, OREGON—BUT NO BRAINS!!!”

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(ORIGINAL ART , BOUGHT FROM DOWN-AT-HEELS-EUGENE ARTIST)

“HEY!” I yelled to Carolyn, when she came in the door, holding a large hot chocolate as big as the barrel; “GUESS WHAT? We made the livability list in the top nine, of all the downtowns in the United States!” “Obviously they have never been here, seen the downtown, or even lived here,” calmly said Carolyn sipping her hot chocolate.”it must be one of those publicity stunts again, kind of like promoting Eugene as the “wildlife lovability town in the whole USA” which they did right after they shot and killed three wild cougars, because they messed up their landscape a little..

“I’m beginning to understand, that that is how Eugene operates now,” I said, taking a bite out of moldy chewing gum. “You promote parts of Eugene, like saying it’s the healthiest richest and most businesslike town in the United States,” when in actuality the County and the city are broke, schools are broke, and all the property is downgraded to worthlessness as far as value.  Or you promote Oregon as nature-loving and hugging wildlife and the environment; and ignore how Oregon has ALWAYS slaughtered wild life, and generally turned all wild critters into hamburger and garbage; as Oregon hates wild life, animals, or anything of nature that isn’t mankind.

“Too bad all these organic,green,yuppies who moved here, didn’t know, Oregon has always killed off all wildlife, and cut down all the damn trees!! HAH!!  They really fell for that Oregon-govt.-lie, that the pacific northwest is CONSERVATIVE as to NATURE. HA HA. Can you dig that?

“As a kid, I saw fish & wildlife, and lumber industry, and every govt, dept, or company, try to kill off all nature and any  rare wild animals they could!! No wonder a lot of wild life here is extinct, or on the edge.  Christ, it’s ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY HERE!!  My sister refuses to move back here, she hates Oregon  so much; she’ll never leave California. She remembers all the ass-hole shit that the Lane county, Eugene, and Oregon govt.; did to this state!  

“It’s a wonder there is ANY wild life here!! Or any other nature. Miles and miles of bare hills, no trees, no growth, nothing but cut-ground, stumps, and bad earth,that’s what we always saw. Sheesh. Bunch of white-trash southerners and people hiding from the rest of the world; and nature-exploiters. The waste of mankind, that’s the “nature-lovers” who’ve always ruled here. No wonder my sister will never return. All those natives who leave, usually don’t come back–unless they have to. And a majority of the natives HAVE left Oregon; why you don’t meet many. I can’t even find any of my old childhood friends. They have all left Oregon, for other states.”

“But now I understand how it’s done, all that “govt.-promotion-crap”; and I’m not so angry and murderous anymore. I’m not so likely to wind up in the Jefferson unit, trying to scalp all the psychiatrists with new razor blades.””yes, you’ve got a lot more sensible now, and you’re not fighting the system here anymore. You’re becoming just like the other inhabitants, getting dementia, poisoned with gasoline in the oxygen, and forgetting your name all the time. You’re getting NORMAL again!it’s really great to see you finally improving!” – – Replied Carolyn, proudly.

“yes, ever since that review of Oregon came out, saying their  downtown was rated so highly for livability it was number nine in the United States, it’s made me really proud, to go downtown, get hit over the head by a heroin addict, get mugged, and have to end up looking at a lineup of deadbeats, who are not going to get arrested for it or put in jail anyhow..I just accept it as a normal routine of Eugene.” I kept chewing the moldy gum, it reminded me of Mayor Percy. Carolyn nodded, as if she could see my progress.

“I feel like going out, and buying an eight dollar winter squash, that some organic peddler is trying to pawn off on me.” I said happily. “I don’t even mind getting swindled by politically correct organic,nutty farmers!and I no longer feel badly or angry, when I go down to the science factory, you know that cute little museum for kids? – – And I see lots of homeless people squatting there leaking a lot of dirt. I mean, if kids can’t get used to that, real reality, what good is a science factory going to do for them anyway? Besides, Western sciences so poo-bah.”

“Are you still talking to that anthropologist, who lived among those African tribes, and saw them operate with ESP there in their daily lives? That was amazing.” Finished Carolyn.”I know,” I said, continuing to chew. “She’s really got me turned on to the fact that I have this really strong ESP in my family, and I know things, and see things, I’m not supposed to know or see. Because the ESP runs in my family so strongly.”” for example?” Puzzled Carolyn.

“for example,” I said continuing, “I can tell when Mayor Percy is deciding not to come into work today, and cuts herself a nice fat check to vacation on the coast, out of the public Eugene funds in the city government. And then she takes a nice little vacation! It’s so clear! It just comes in like radio or telegraph, I just KNOW THINGS!” “That is doubly amazing,” says Carolyn, with a look of awe on her face.”what are you going to do with this wonderful familial ESP power?”

“I don’t know,” I said puzzled equally;” I thought at first, I should go spy on corporate heads, and figure out from their brains, how to get all their money. – For myself. Unfortunately, getting into one of those brains, is like getting into Mayor Percy’s brain – there’s nothing there but arrogance and ego, and not much else of a brain. Nothing to influence! So that’s kind of not working for me at this time.”

“Gee,”replied Carolyn, disappointed. “You’d think that if you could see what was in people’s minds, and where they were, and what they were doing, it would be very very valuable! You could work for the police department! You can find all the criminals!”.

“I definitely did try that,” I replied in an equally disappointed tone. “They did find a lot of the criminals, under my instruction, to the police department locally, but then when they caught them, they didn’t know what to do with them! Our police force in Eugene and Lane County is pretty much used to letting them all GO, and so does the Oregon justice system.. I mean, most of the population is infiltrated with plenty of criminals, how are you going to put them all in jail or prison? What are you going to do with all the pedophiles once you catch them? What are you going to do it all the burglars? Or the murders? There are just too many in the population to put in prison!”

“and the worst of it is, it’s really impossible to imprison them, even if I use my wonderful ESP to catch them, because basically, a lot of them are running the government, in the heads of power, even locally, and it’s kind of like fighting City Hall; you can SEE what they’re doing, but you can’t do anything about it!” Carolyn looked at me increasingly disappointed.

“– you can’t even tell the bank owners mind, about where he puts all his keys, to get into the bank, and all his combinations to get into the safe? I mean, ESP would be real handy for that!I don’t have to tell you, both of us are pretty low on funds, being retired, and we could use a little safe cracking enterprise, for fun and profit right now!”.

“you could just as well get somebody to hack into their online accounts, and online bank itself, you don’t have to go to all that trouble to analyze the poor dummies brain and suck out his information. It’s all on the web! It’s all in computer systems, that are completely easy to hack into! Who needs ESP nowadays? It’s an outmoded old Homo sapiens instinct, that was supposed to keep you and your family safe. But now you can use cell phones for that, and hire hackers to suck out a bank or every credit card on Target.”

“isn’t the information you get by reading people’s minds, any value at all?” Continued a very disappointed Carolyn. “There’s one being whose mind is so convoluted and manipulative, that I have delved into it. Very important mind. My CAT, Bella! That little pussy wants treats and goodies all day long, and I found the reason she does it is, she knows I’m a pushover and she get away with it! And she’s right.”

(  MEANWHILE, in Eugene,Sandramina, the ESP master, is getting hungry because it’s dinner time. Even people who scan your brain, and  can tell where you’re going and where you are and when you’re coming back( “remote viewing”) can get pretty hungry doing it. Back after more reflection, and not wanting to see any type of view into president Putin’s mind. It probably just looks like Stalin’s)MORE LATER! As if you really wanted to read all this crap.)

Later on, while Carolyn and I were having after-dinner coffee, and musing some more over my fantastic talent that was of no use to me, I went even further a-musing. ” Do you suppose, ” I asked Carolyn, ” That it’s not just THE END of everything wild, or green in Oregon, but its also the end of the human race too?” “That would be too optimistic an acessment,” replied Carolyn, biting an after-dinner mint. ” That’s too good to be hoped for. Even when all of Oregon turns into concrete and boutique-mini-organic farms, (along with massive freeways) there’s no way mankind is over–yet. It might take a little more time.”

“You think, the Asians will still be left? Waging wars against all the Blacks and Hispanics for anything that’s still left to eat??”  “Probably, ” she returned. “They are the major populations now, and they don’t like each other too much.Too much competition. Of course, they might keep a few white people for slaves, or pets, or “genetic experiments”. That’s possible. But white people in the future? Nah, we’re a dying race alright.I guess, a few white scientists would be useful to them. I don’t know. We’re not exactly the “coming-thing” anymore.”

“Maybe the caucasians who run Abercrombie & Fitch–you know, those smartie-pants clothiers ? They might keep that company, for fun. I would. Especially if I were Asian.” “The new people might want to dump Saturday Night Live,” she commented.” (My ESP was on the fritz, from the heavy smog that day. I could not scan for that loose, dangerous, armed,  rapist-criminal who was  running around Eugene lately. Of course I had my old shotgun loaded as usual.)

 “I agree, ” I said, “A last bastion of elite white liberal smugness. In fact, just erase most of  New York City, it’s so over back there. Besides flooding the subways, the hurricaines are flooding it more and more, itll all be under water along with the New York Times, and the Literate, intellectual set. They can go publish J.D.Salinger’s sexual peccadilloes in Minnesota or Cleveland.–oh, they’d all love Portland!!”  “They already do, “growled Caroline. “A good reason for the KKK to be revived again, as a reception party,”  “Hmm..” I sighed.” I bet KKK all moved back to Georgia. I would, too. Oregon could just become New-York-Oregon of the West. Most of it is already!!  UGH!!  Disgusting NYC Liberal smug-snobbery. And they’ll make everything expensive!” “Its already been done” she growled again. “Too bad we can’t sell our houses, and move away from this turkey state!!”  “My ESP says you’re dreaming of neck-tie-parties and pitchforks,” I said. “Don’t need ESP to see that!!”

“I’m sorry, Carolyn, ” I finished, ” ESP never did much for my family; gave my dad bad nightmares, that were true. It sometimes told me, I’d run into an old friend. But what use are those? A cell-phone and a computer online would do better. I know no one could control their talent, or force it to work, or make money off it. We were never picked out as being “that different.”  And the FBI never came knocking, to ask me to become a spy. Anyhow, I hate associating with drunks and womanizers. The FBI and the govt. doesn’t need ESP to stop terrorists; it needs to FIRE THEM ALL. Terrorists are laughing at them so hard!!”  “And you couldn’t read candidates-for-presidents; minds, to see what they’ll do after elections?” requested Carolyn. “Just read their records and histories, that’ll tell you better, ” I said. “You don’t need a mind-reader to tell you Democrats will raise taxes and put in a skirt-chasing libertine..” 

.”My friend in Michigan tells me, they have MORE TREES there, than they do in Oregon; you think that’s true?”  “What does your psychic power tell you?”  “–That a bill-collecter is going to be calling me soon; aha!  It’s finally good for something!!–I can cut off my phone-line, and lock all my doors and turn off the lights!! Wow, it’s great to have ESP after all!!   Who woulda guessed, I’d be able to KNOW WHEN to dodge the collection agency? ”  “Now THAT is power any American would be HAPPY to possess!” Carolyn gasped with envy. “AWWW, wow, a talent for our era!!  Sandramina, yer a genius!”

(Sandramina, psychically connecting with no one, with this blog, in wild-life- hating Eugene Oregon ;”We don’t watch “Cougar town” here!”  😦  )

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