(ARTWORK BOUGHT FROM OREGON ARTISTS)
I was in that (not purple) haze, the other day,just waking from a non-riotous Sat. night; bad, insipid tv shows again so that falling asleep to the piano-clink of re-runned “Law & Order”s seemed EXCITING. Not that my own company and my cat’s, isn’t exciting on a Sat. night;(OK, its not. But why is all the TV NOW MUCH LESS EXCITING THAN A SLEEPING CAT??!!)
AT LEAST my cat seems ALIVE. WHY has my cat become entoxicatingly exciting, breathing in and out, and all the tv networks have stopped breathing? (“TV columnists review the seasons’ shows; “More boring than a dead cat!!”)
Let’s face it,there’s not much original work on tv America now, unless you count “Criminal Chemistry-Teacher-Drug-Lord” or “The Walking Really Really Dead”, and I only watched the first season of Drug-Chemistry Teacher, cuz it was good; but didn`t want to see him killed off eventually as a “Bad Guy” cuz on tv if yer bad, you have to be killed off.
Oh, yeah, the real world.
It all might be good motivation for our younger (?) richer Americans (or poor ones, I don’t care!) to go to film school, or the equivalent, and make us some good tv shows again.–take over a bankrupt network (ABC? Whatever.) and give us some GOOD TV AGAIN!! WA-HOO!! “The X-Files”? the 50`s funny variety and comedy shows? Something fresh and original, with WRITERS, that`s not a cheap-ass reality crap-piece!
(I kept day-dreaming on. Only the soft sound of my cat pummeling my legs, softening them up,so they were more comfy to sleep on, was heard. I have a weird cat.)
Even the originality that “Dr. Who” or “Lex” (Lexus?No, Lex) or “Star Trek” came up with.You don`t have to re-write Greek tragedy, but the amt. of MONEY we all pay now, for inferior tv we wouldn`t want for FREE is rediculous.
But, the world is now rediculous, isn`t it? Expensive gas, unemployment; global finances and global inter-acting trade–you got yer comedy show right there!!—and yur New Law & Disorder!!
I wish the tv network would make a comedy tv show called “Globilization” and describe an American woman trying to do business with a Japanese male business man. What a bunch of funny stuff!!
Or describe a story of how the “NWO” works, with Bush oil characters, inter-locking American fed. govt. & corporations; rich people in Dubai; American air forces protecting the Big Arabic oil family heads; or how Britain and France look and seem with Muslim and Indian immigrants making it different than how we American tv watchers used to see.
Curry powder all over Big Ben.
You could even write new movies just for t.v.Do a version of how James Bond would deal with Iran, Arabic terrorists, tracking down Osama Bin Laden; and finding lovely Arabic women encumbered in birkas. ugh.
Yes, 007, the world has CHANGED. Judy Dench is your boss.Her secretary is a cute young man named “six-pence”. Your mission is to keep Muslims in London from lighting the city on fire, or trying to break up huge, anti-austerity mobs. so much for British-spy glamour. Fleming would go nuts in his grave if he saw Daniel Crag “acting.”
Or we could resurrect tv westerns; but the old west is in Red China, in the expensive pollution of Shangchai or Peking, where no duck is safe.
Other venues; India and Calcutta (a very dangerous and crime-laden city) where women should not walk anywhere alone(unless they just ate Vandaloo ).
in France, where Muslims sometimes try to burn down Paris (they hate the FOOD, all that alcohol! and pork! and the fashions!)
Or in the wild west of Israel, where Palestinians terrorize, and forget how their bosses gleaned millions of bucks for themselves, & left it to their rich widows, instead of their people; and Tel Aviv (which means “Hill of Spring”) where scientists discover new things to cure cancer, mostly with chicken soup.
Is there a WILD WEST, or Wild east, WILDER than that?NO WAY. BOY,do we need Palladin back to work!! And the Texas Rangers!! or Clint Eastwood. (the name alone sounds tough.) Where`s the darn .357 Magnum now? Talk about westerns you could write!
Richard Boone sips green tea in Peking; Walker, Texas Ranger, stops Chinese factory slavery and saves a pretty, cute young Chinese girl that Rupert Murdoch forgot to marry. Raw Hide actors stop rollin rollin for a while, and roll into Jerusalem, just in time to save the middle-east from a peace agreement.
The Marshall of Gunsmoke goes to Paris, to buy Kitty a high-designer outfit, and keeps all those Muslim women from putting on head-scarves, and gets them to “buy a Paris hat instead” to avoid teeing-off the French govt. (and he still gets Kitty something elegant from Givenchy )
Have we got adventure and western action? YOU BETCHA !
Yes, the t.v.shows we SHOULD,& COULD write, would make Sarah Silverman seem pale!!But, would those ever-lovin’ t.v. networks let us write them?UH-UH. NINE.They make plenty of money now, they think, feeding garbage-reality-tv to home-bound broke viewers, cuz “there’s nothing else on tv, lets get potted and listen to Montovani again.”
You can lead a horse to water,but tv network executives, tv networks, and even their advertisers have decided not to awaken deadened tv viewers from watching “Celebrity-Atlanta-Housewife-Dance-off!!” or letting better writers and producers make more interesting shows.
They don’t care that we t.v. addicts have broken our addiction, and avoid buying a new tv to replace the old green-screened dying one.–Because we’re watching the web,reading books, writing blogs, sleeping a lot, and listening to talk-radio instead.
Maybe they’re getting plenty of viewers, making enough money, and trying to move to the net to charge MORE EXTRA instead;(hello, HULU, you expensive little piece of shit. Like I’m going to give you money?)
Maybe extra effort to write good tv is not GOOD BUSINESS any more.–so they think. ” Why write good tv, produce quality, when maybe cable HBO or (????) might be doing that already?
“Why not let old networks limp along showing “Old Dead Ducks Get Shafted By Gay-Mafia” instead?? Or be satisfied with having less viewers than re-runs of Fox News Weather Reports from Schnectedy?
“WHO CARES if regular tv dies from scurvey and Ricketts? Who the Hell cares, as long as they’re still makin’ a buck from viewers too broke to go out & see a movie?Or too old or disabled to get outta the house?
“Or from people who only watch tv,just to lull them asleep? Or off people who get lonely and just want the SOUND to keep them company?–or to entertain the dog alone? Or who want cooking shows, and don’t realize more cooking & baking is going on, on the web?.–or that chatrooms will help loneliness?
“Or from all the tv viewers who haven’t turned off the tv yet, and transferred all their entertainment-culling off the Internet ?
“Maybe the tv networks are satisfied with what they’ve got, as far as viewers, and don’t care as long as “Ballroom Dancing With Honeymoon Couples in Greenland” still has advertisers?
“Maybe tv networks producers and executives are ex-poultry-factory owners, ex-teachers of Bikram Yoga with a lotta money, and as long as tv BUSINESS is not DEAD YET, they’re satisfied.As far as they are concerned, the “Duck Men”show is wildly popular, they excised the gay-hating guy, and gay viewers are no longer sending them hate-mail.
“BUSINESS IS GOOD; and that’s the only thing that counts! the BUSINESS, not the Entertainment. So why up the quality of regular tv? That is NOT GOOD BUSINESS.It won’t make you more dough! Quality has nothing to do with MAKING MONEY!!
“viewers or their kids who see the films of the Jackie Gleason Show,or Sid Caesar would not start watching networks again, if the talent and creativity returned to tv. Johnny Carson is dead, and someone as exciting and new would not brighten tv again.Naaahhh!!
” People are NOT YEARNING for anything better ; we should know.We are the ABC, NBC, & CBS Networks!!We are the brains behind “Survivor Kentucky:How To Make TV Without Actors”or anything else but real drug-addicts who play Dungeons-&-Dragons while running comic-book stores. These shows are making us RICH!!
“And that is the whole purpose of tv! It’s a god-dammed money-making–mill! You want real good entertainment? Go to Ashland, Oregon, and watch stupid Shakespeare!! THEY don’t care about makin money!! WE DO.That’s our business, and our only business!! You stupid-ass Intellectuals!!” $$$$$$$ “
So, gentle reader, you now know the TRUE purpose of tv; its to MAKE MONEY, as much as possible, with the cheapest “entertainment” you can find, no matter how vapid or disgusting.
You avoid writers, avoid actors, and avoid anything that costs you dough, if you can get amateur skanks who fight, scream,pretend to be “real”,appeal to the lowest class viewer you can get,cuz they wanta watch skanky “real” bitches on tv.
If it DOES make you lotta money, keep making “New York Hookers-Union-Members” live their street-lives on tv.The porpoise is to not make waves; make like the baker, and MAKE DOUGH. hah hah hah.
—And the best thing is, nobody will EVER get bored with it!! ” We are the Networks, the producers, we are experts!!”
I suppose I should listen to those Network and cable tv producers,huh? So they don’t care if I think that t.v. stinks now. As long as they feel that way, I’m not buying a new tv, when my old green-tube-screen burns out. I’ll see if I feel ok without it, or see how much tv-addiction I can transfer to the Web. See if I’m finally “off the stuff!”See if I can live without watching “Jersey City Hoarders”.
Sorry for the tv rant. it would be so much more adventurous, though, to write a western in France, in the Louvre,about trying to stop terrorist Chechens from ripping off the smiling famous-Italian lady-painting, with a sawed-off shot gun and a nasty,bucking horse!!
After all, is that ALL life is about, only makin’ a lotta money? And nothing else? What happened to makin’ tv and FUN?What a medium! What perfect route to people’s minds and funny-bones! What a shame to just use it for only making money and TRASH!! 😦
Just my opinion. ZZZZZZZZZ,,,,ME-OW!!PURRRR.make that a purple-haze after all.
(Sandraminadotty,on a sleepy Sunday, with a pummeling kitty (aside from our pummeling Mayor) biding you adieu, and POO-POO! TO BAD TV! > :p )