“HOW I ATE THE AFFORDABLE-CARE ACT, AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT” in Eugene,OR”

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(“NEON-JELLYFISH IN THE RAIN”

I wish I could say, that it was a wonderful sunshiny day, my friend Chauncey and I were sitting in the Eugene Café outside in the sunlight, having a latte, while I was on the phone for hours, trying to get a hold of someone who knew something about “Obama care” (the affordable care act) because I was completely confused, and the weather wasn’t making it any better – –

– because it was actually inside,I didn’t have any money,or latte, or sunshine and it was raining cats and dogs literally (along with the rain coming down, you can hear the barking and the meowing alternately) and it was horribly cold and damp; and it was October 1.

Big deal, Halloween!

BOO!  just in time for Halloween out comes Obama, in his fright wig of socialistic – socialism, with his trick-or-treat of giving everybody in the United States a huge big fee if they didn’t want to buy medical insurance from him. –

Oh, and for you foreigners – guess what? This is considered a TAX! the Supreme Court said “it’s a tax you have to have it you have to do it and you have to pay for it you have no choice.” Certainly that was what Britain told the American colonists, “you don’t have any choice, we rule you! Blah!” and they were correct for the time being.

but that was only while the royal party was in office; eventually, the British royal party was thrown OUT of office, because of all that fucking TEA we got taxed on.

isn’t it amazing what one little big fat tax will do?

but I was at home, and it was pouring rain, and my friend Chauncey and I were having tea, and it took me hours to get through the phone number to get information about the affordable care act that was going on. Yes it was really going on! They had stopped the budget from passing in the government, but Obama care was going on and on and on and on.

Chauncey was from Canada, and had been telling me a lot about the health care system in Canada,; “same thing, you have to pay for it,” said Chauncey sipping his tea delicately, “but the big difference is, you might not get what you pay for.”he had been telling me about the huge SHORTAGE OF DOCTORS in Canada.it was one of the reasons he was here, working, and not in Canada working

Canada was supposed to be having a better economic atmosphere..so why was Chauncey here working? “I have a medical condition,” he explained to me over cookies, “that I can’t get taken care of in Canada; its chronic and ongoing, and if I rely on the Canadian healthcare system, having to wait for months and months to be seen, or get a hold of a Dr., I would probably just die. So if it comes to that, I’d rather work over here and pay a lot of money to go to a doctor; but at least I’d know that I could FIND a Dr.

“It beats death.”.

“I’m sure it won’t get that bad over here,” I said, still on the phone trying to get a hold of information; “I know our government has plenty of money. I mean, if they run out they can just print more!”

Chauncey wrinkled his nose disgustedly. “That’s what we Canadians thought,” he replied sadly. “When they opened up the Canadian healthcare system, EVERYBODY, from EVERY WHERE, jumped on it. There was never enough money for it, and it just collapsed. If you want to see a doctor in Canada, without waiting years to die, you have to go to a private clinic and pay money. if you can get into one, because they’re all full all the time.”

“I’m sure they’ll get it all ironed out, once they get all the bugs, and the tarantulas, and cockroaches, and little teeny itty bitty brown garden spiders out of it. It’ll only take time! (Maybe quite a few more TRILLION DOLLARS. Or is it going to take a TRILLION dollars every single year? That might get cramped.)”

I secretly hoped that Obama had a whole lot of blood diamonds – somewhere, we were going to need them. “how much money did you say it took the first year, before the whole thing collapsed, Chauncey?” I said, while still on the phone worriedly.those cookies look good, oatmeal and raisins, my favorite and they were killing my diet.

If I didn’t watch out, I would end up with a heart attack and  a Medicare financed emergency room, that doesn’t finance old people.what was that story from Britain, about the University of Oregon student who went over there, and broke his finger playing football? Just for fun?

And went to the emergency room, waited eight hours there,and they couldn’t get a proper doctor for 3 to 6 weeks? And they had to take a popsicle stick and tie it on his finger to set it? That can’t possibly be true. Those University of Oregon graduate students imagine things all the time when they get overseas!

while I was still on the phone, I nibbled on a cookie with my tea, and asked Chauncey something else and been puzzling me; “how come you guys in Canada have such a huge shortage of DOCTORS? Are you trying to tell me that they don’t have to be in the national health care system, and they can opt out of it? So everybody goes into private practice in private clinics and and only takes money?”

I was astonished. That’s exactly what all this insurance and government medical insurance was supposed to do away with; REAL MONEY! That stuff the doctors crave! That stuff that they live for!

Well, they used to live for it. Now they work a lot less, do a lot less, and get a lot less money, the maybe that’s why we have doctors that are a lot LESS and less. All the specialists are retiring, and no new specialists are going to school and graduating. Looks like everybody’s going to be heading to the emergency room.

I hope all the GPs and the nurse practitioners know how to operate surgically, and do neurology, specialties, and stuff like that. I wouldn’t want a nurse practitioner to do breast operations on me, UGH.in my case, she wouldn’t know where to look. Ha ha Ha.

“How long have you been on that phone line?” Asked Chauncey, going to fill up the teapot again. “You were already on it when I came here at 10.” I sighed. “I’ve been on it since 7 AM or 8 AM,” I said, feeling groggy. “You’d think, since they’re taking $700 billion out of all the Medicare providers, within 10 years, they have enough money for an extra phone line!”

He looked startled. “You mean all your senior citizens on Medicare are PAYING TO MAKE OBAMACARE? How is that supposed to work?””I didn’t say it was working,” I answered depressed, “it’s not like any of we people on Medicare or Social Security had any choice about it; Obama decided that he was going to take $700 billion, within 10 years, out of Medicare to pay for Obama care.

“So that’s what he’s doing! There’s no way you can stop the guy he’s like the Terminator. He absolutely will not stop until you are dead!”I added. “And I hate to even make reference to that guy, that was a very good movie, and Schwarzenegger was absolutely fantastic.”

“What I’m really afraid of,” I said, sipping some more tea, “is that he’ll say the same thing at the end; “I’ll be back.” That gives me nightmares.” “You mean the Terminator?” “No, I mean Obama will be back! he can’t ran for president again, so maybe he’ll just run for EMPEROR of the United States.” For some reason, the cookie I was nibbling on, was tasting funny. “Too many cookies,” I mumbled.

Finally I actually was getting somebody or something coming on line after all those hours of waiting; and operator was actually coming on the line! “I think I’m getting somebody finally!” I said excitedly did Chauncey. “Maybe this isn’t a dead number after all! Hello? Hello? Is this a phone number for information on the affordable care act?”

“This is a recording – please call back, in three weeks, after the affordable care act has been placed into operation in your state. Goodbye.”– and then my line was disconnected. I had been waiting for hours and hours on a busy line, to get a hold of an ANSWERING MACHINE?

Chauncey could hear the rotating message, and he said “oh no! I thought the thing was already going? Is it going on in other states? Well, some other states. Some of your states are not doing it I take it.”I decided to put a little nip in my tea; “where is that whiskey bottle? I really need a shot in my tea, I don’t care if it’s chamomile, or green, or black or Nescafé!”

“I’m sure it’s just a hitch,” continued Chauncey,” after all, your United States government is much more efficient than our tiny little Canadian one.”I looked at him, not very calmly.

Canada wasn’t stupid either, it was a big big country, it had a lot of people, it had Toronto, and yet Canadians were still coming over the border to America, into Bellingham Washington, all the time, to see OUR DOCTORS, because they couldn’t get any in their own country. Not a good sign.

I started to have feelings of dread will up inside me, up and up, until they permeated my being; until they permeated the whiskey bottle. Some deadly little black seeds were germinating in my head.I couldn’t keep them from sprouting; what if the United States did the same thing? Feverishly trying to give everybody in the whole darn country, MILLIONS of dollars, EACH, of halfway decent healthcare, and the doctors just took a look at it, thumbed their noses at it, and said those famous last words? – –

“I refuse to accept Obama care as MONEY – go to a emergency room.”

or maybe – “I don’t have time or space for the patient’s I already have! I can’t take anybody on Obama care! You’ll have to go somewhere else!”

Or “your insurance, lady, maybe really great for you, but it’s not enough to pay for sweeping up the office; none of that government medical insurance is! I’m not taking any of it – and the government can’t force me to!” (door slams very hard)

or – “I’m going to go work for hospital, and so are all of my colleagues, so we don’t have to take any of this affordable care B.S.”

or maybe even – “I’m going to retire early, just to get out of this affordable care act. No, don’t say anything. I’m not going to practice medicine any more in this atmosphere.”

or possibly– “listen, I’d really like to take you in, but we don’t even take any more Medicare patients in; we just don’t have any room in the clinic anymore.Medicare pays so little, and add all these extra affordable care act government insurance – yes, I know it’s supposed to be real legitimate medical insurance; sigh” –

–”that’s what they tell you. But this medical clinic, and the other ones in the city are stretched to impossible – the only possibility for all of you is to start going to emergency rooms for care, drop-in clinics,and possibly get medical students. There just aren’t enough Dr.s! There are only so many who would take Medicare or Medicaid, and they’re getting rid of their patients, in favor of cash!” –

or even –”we started out by taking all the affordable care new patients; what happened was, your government is running out of money to pay for the new insurance.  they’re not paying us! Nobody is getting paid! The insurance companies are going broke, we are going broke if we accept it, all the money is running out! I’m sorry, you’re going to have to go to the local drop-in clinic and pay cash or something.”

and even this: “no, my husband and I are both doctors,and we are immigrating to Australia because they need plenty of us. And I hear that a lot of the medical graduates, are also doing that.that’s why you’re getting a much worse shortage of doctors, even the new ones are leaving the country.a lot of the doctors are very discouraged by this haphazard and chaotic medical system now.”

this would really be a strange possibility –”I know that you’re looking for Dr., and you’re willing to pay cash, but I think you might have to start going over the border to Mexico to some of the American hospitals there. Also, you might consider what some of our other patients had to – actually take trips to nearby Asian countries for periods of time, just to get treatment and then come back home. I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to do it is not my problem! I can’t solve it!” (closes door very firmly; exit stage left).

there was one other possibility I hadn’t imagined before,as long as I was imagining some silly nightmares; “what do you mean, the United States government has DEFAULTED? The United States government CAN’T DEFAULT! It’s got solid money backing, it’s a real country! I mean, it has billions and trillions of BUCKS! It cannot go bankrupt! It’s just can’t do it!NO, NO, NO! No no no no no! That is IMPOSSIBLE!”

“You know, Chauncey,” I said, putting away the whiskey bottle in the cabinet. “I’ve been so silly, I’m sure they’re just little glitches, everything will work out, eventually they’ll iron out all the BUGS. Everything will be okay in the end!It’s not like, our government is on the brink of – uh– another big fat, totally horse whipping DEPRESSION?

“No way. You know that inflation and whatchamacallit register they have in the newspaper? It says that every–buddy is doing a lot better! All the households have MORE MONEY! Employment is looking up!” I looked at Chauncey, who was shaking his head at me , humorously,he started making faces, denoting a crazy person going bonkers, and chuckling. I reached for the last cookie, determinedly.

“I’m sure it will all be fine. Just like your parents tell you, when you go to bed at night? Everything is gonna be all right! No bad guys no monsters, no poverty, no insanity or downfall of civilization.” I almost had myself convinced. Besides, what could I do about it?

Just wait? Wait till the cookies ran out? Wait till the oats ran out and the raisins, and the MONEY ran out? That’s what happened in Canada – but we were more solid than Canada! That wouldn’t happen over here, that the whole thing would collapse and –maybe just turn into a bad joke.

“no, I wouldn’t worry about it,” replied Chauncey, with good humor.  I’m sure everything will be okay. Nothing could happen to your government; it’s way too big to fall! It’s way too big to run out of money!” “Geez, just keep telling yourself that,” I said, remembering the answering machine. “And one thing for sure:”– –

– “STAY HEALTHY. DON’T GET SICK.you have to be able to AFFORD to get sick.good health doesn’t cost anything.” 🙂

(Sandraminadotty, in Eugene, Oregon, where it’s only JUST starting to rain cats and dogs!!!   WOOF WOOF!!!   MEOWW, ME-OWW!!!    🙂     )

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About WhatToDoWhileThePlanetDies

Eugene,Oregon,home of the U. of Oregon,is a dissolute,gay,hippie,broke, jobless, crime and drug-ridden courupt little no-account town, bulging with fleeing Californicators, who have pushed the natives out,done to Oregon what they did to cali; trashed it. the horrible grid-lock traffic, smog,bad freeways full of accidents have turned it into decayed Detroit.Everyone is broke, there are no jobs,it's left-wing extreme-fanatic crazy, and there are constant political conflicts.Oppression and stifiling city hall crooks fleece the citizens of taxes, it;s the Macon Georgia of the pacific northwest.Anyone who can, leaves.Landowners can't sell, they're stuck.Even the Nazi party would call it Hell.Willamette Valley has the worst pollen,smog,allergies, in the world.Nature and Man are out to get you here, welcome to Oregon!The trash-heap of the United States!

One response »

  1. Obamacare is a joke. How will anyone buy something they can’t afford. Everyone will be fined by the IRS, maybe it will be a new way to imprison people for free slave labor for the corporations. Remember this is Communism married to crony Capitalism. The Commies just made you work, they didn’t make you work and then send you a bill too.

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