I had plenty of reasons to be depressed; I had had a miserable life, no money, very lonesome; no friends at the end, they were all dead; I was not going to do long life myself. People in my mom’s generation lived often to 80 or 90; they had quiet-somewhat stable lives, calm, unchanging, good to moderate health. families; kids, careers, work, spouses, homes. the country was somewhat not so bad off
And here I was, alone, and in my old hometown, which I had no control over, because we had so-called” property” and I had to have some place to live; if I still wanted to be alive.. at all.and to be brief, I hated my hometown originally, and now that I came back, there was nothing but hippie bums, transients, rich Californians fled California, rich New Yorkers who left New York, tons of illegal drugs, drunks everywhere, homeless everywhere and to top it off; we have the worst liberal left-wing scum here!
there is no way you can say anything publicly, or in any other place in Eugene, Oregon that irritates a liberal, and not be thrown into jail or thrown out of town, or pounced on by the lesbian ladys auxiliary command, and screwed out of your mind.
WHAT irritates a Liberal?ANYTHING that he does not like, or agree with.And he gets irritated a LOT.
So nobody says anything, not even a whisper, we all pretend we are in Moscow, Russia; and one bad thing against the government, or something they don’t agree with, and you’re going to be sent to live on icebergs forever. Archipelagoes anyone? But it was not Russia, or Moscow; it was only Eugene Oregon!
And this was the only place I had to live!”we are itching to get out of Eugene Oregon.”
But this is a Cheerful story this time, not a downer! we’re cheerful about living in a wretched city made out of all hippies, dictators, communists,thieves and burglars, drug addicts, rancid socialists, students of rich ‘foreign parents, (no Oregonians can afford to go to the University of Oregon unless their parents are wealthy.Along with kids of Arabic princes, and ,rich Americans’kids.
OH, and also a huge pot smoking population that wants to secede from the United States completely.they wouldn’t be able to do it. They wouldn’t get their welfare from the federal government, and their food stamps, and all the welfare that Oregon get out of the feds. It would be impossible for the state to secede from the union ! everybody would go broke.
That will pretty much tell you the lay of Eugene, and this County; all poor people,, all hippies, drunken bums who teach at the University of Oregon, radical students who party all night long; what’s not to like? Everyone would love to live here. And I wish everybody else except me was living here!
“stuck in Eugene,Oregon,Again!”and.no way to get out. .my neXT door neighbor,who could be noisy sometimes, was making a fuss trying to get into her door. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “Oh,” she said, very angry,” “nothing you would notice. Just that The Stupid Lane County mental health Department is not functioning at all.
“And, they’re not telling anyone unless you find out your teenager is sick, can’t get any medication, or have it changed, when he’s going to Dr. there, and suddenly there are no psychiatrist to handle the patient’s anymore! And my teenagers sick, because his medication isn’t working, and I have to take him to the ER instead!”
“Wow, that is terrible, “” I said,”aren’t they having budget problems?” She said, “no, they are having idiocy problems; ever since the kid had gone there, they constantly lose their case files, have counselors leave and dump all their clients without warning, and then we have this mysterious absence of all psychiatrists, and there’s nobody at home in the whole place!”
“maybe they need all the money for the new homeless village, and they’re taking it out of the mental health department,” I ventured. “That thing is going to be expensive, and all we taxpayers have to pay for it; and the government here of Eugene and the County, is inviting all the homeless people in the United states, to come here and live!”
“I know, and we’re supposed to pay for it! So why are they making a homeless village, for all those homeless to live in, and yet they have no psychiatrists in Lane County mental health?” “I really do not understand how their brains work.”
I started to think, “maybe we could get Romney to come here, take over the mental health department, balancing their budget, like he does his businesses,straighten everything out, and make them live within their means.”
Oh, I guess Romney could also take the money from the homeless village, and put it back in the mental health department! It seems like that would work. After all, all these people are going to be sick as hell, because there are no psychiatrist, and yet we have enough money to make a whole homeless village for all the homeless that don’t pay taxes, to live there!
My neighbor went into her house finally,and I decided, maybe I was not the most depressed person in the world, because I knew I had had to quit going to Lane County mental health a while before, because they would always lose my case file, didn’t know I existed, and then I had to call them up and go over to prove to them, that I did! AMAZING.
I had to wonder; “WHY did the department not tell some of their clients, they no longer had access to psychiatrists there? So they could save themselves and their health, by going somewhere else?”
They didn’t want to tell the public, there were no psychiatrists or doctors to handle people’s medication anymore, or an emergency when somebody was sick, because they wanted to KEEP GETTING THEIR PAYCHECKS!
If they told everybody, “Lane County no longer functions, go somewhere else, please!” – Yeah, the department would not be getting funds from the state, federal government, and the County and city anymore!
That s Why nobody in Lane County mental health leveled with the public!I guess it that way all over the United States including Northern California; all the states are broke, most of them, but they refused to go bankrupt, because all their nice at employees would lose all their benefits, retirement, and healthcare!
“dear Mr. Romney: I really enjoy your first name too, what is a “Mitt”?oh well, what I’m writing this letter to you for, is, that we need you to come to Eugene Oregon, take over all the finances for the Eugene and Lane County government, get it all accounted for and where it all is (and where it all went) and balance the budget for us.
“We know that you can do it since you have had your own businesses successfully. And since you’re not busy being the president of the United States right now, you could be the mayor of Eugene, Oregon, and also kick out the Council of the County. You could fix all of our budget problems up like gravy!
“What do you say, Mitt? you could even bring your dog and your family.and you don’t have to worry about being a Mormon here, we have Mormons of our own you could associate with.
“you see,our County and city leaders just can’t add and subtract and multiply, so they think we have money to build an expensive homeless city, and put huge multistoried low income building here, for all the rest of the homeless, on a very private residential area of River road.
“So they have all this money to do all this house making and apartment making for homeless and low income people; but they don’t seem to know how to balance their books, so they can still pay for the jail, and the mental health department!
“WE HAVE NO MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT EITHER!
“but we seem to have plenty of money to build tons of housing and apartments for everybody who’s homeless!
“so, Mr. Romney, I think you get the idea; nobody knows how to pay for the jail, and for the mental health department, but they do know how to pay for a huge homeless village, and multistoried low income apartment complex! This is the weirdest kind of accounting by any government, I have everything before!
And we really need the most capitalist ,capitalist that we can possibly get! we absolutely need YOU to figure this out!
“UH..__–it’s okay that you are a Republican, because we actually do have some left over from about 50 years ago. And we think they’re still alive. So you won’t be lonely while you’re going over the books. We’ll dig them out of hiding.. please feel free to bring all your family and your dog; we can put you up at the 66 motel. It’s really great, and it’s near our fabulous pancake house!
“Okay, that’s all for now; we are really looking forward to having you here to fix up our slovenly, broken, unbalanced, and nearly missing budget problems.( Please don’t stop over in Portland, your wife might give her fur coat assaulted.)thank you very much!
I started back from the mailbox with all the hope of a new Christian ;in America; even though I am not one. It’s nice to know, were going to have a nice legal Mormon guy, to balance out the ones we’ve already got. And he’s going to balance the DAMN BUDGET, HOORAY!!
I could hear the termites gnawing at the base of my house again, and I knew that I had to call up an exterminator, spend several thousand dollars to get rid of them, and have lots and lots of termite headaches. So much for living in Eugene where they have all the ant hills and termites!
But this time I was going to take it in stride, and I could tell my neighbor that her kid was going to be okay after all; Mitt Romney was going to come here, take over our budget and balance it, find out where all the money is, where it went, and how to get it out of the people who took it originally.he probably does that as a job every single day.
And now I looked at the desolation, SMOG, insane traffic, and my house being gnawed into sawdust, with the sustained light of hope in my seedy little heart, cause Mitt Romney would come, bring his best adding machine, and make our city new again. push out all the Californians, New Yorkers, and hippies out of miserable Eugene and Lane county, right into the ocean where they belonged!!!
(SINCERELY, SANDRAMINADOTTY, IN EUGENE, ORE, HAVING A GLASS OF COGNAC WITH HER NIGHTLY OPIUM DOSE. TAH-TAH!!! 🙂